NEWSAUGUST 2022 Family Owned and Operated Since 1974 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY P O BOX 5 1 5 9 , YO U N G S T OWN, OH I O 4 4 5 1 4 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 2 1 - 7 4 7 9 WWW. NO M I SPU B L I C AT I O N S. C O M P r e v i o u s l y P u b l i s h e d a s t h e YB News • S t i l l t h e P l a c e f o r Yo u r N ew s ! East Texas Mortuary Staff Celebrate all of their hard work at the Open House the Dallas Institute of Funeral Service. She graduated in 2012 at the age of 18 and was dually licensed as both a funeral director and embalmer by age 19. She later received her crematory certification as well. Michelle excelled in her roles as funeral director and embalmer, working in both funeral homes and mortuary services. As a woman in the business in small East Texas towns, she initially struggled to find work. “Many homes didn’t have women on the funeral staff other than secretaries. I had to prove myself and keep trying,” she says. In June of 2019, Michelle and her husband Ben had a son. On October 30, 2019, they purchased a mortuary service, renaming it East Texas Mortuary Service. It was a 1,000-square-foot garage bay with one embalming table and one removal van. With a small son it was decided that Ben would be the primary caretaker, taking him to daycare, being home at night and for sick days while MiMichelle Johnston East Texas Mortuary Service Expands Facility; adding Equipment, Staff and Crematory Continued on page A2 TYLER,TX— Michelle Johnston has been interested in death care for as long as she can remember. While she had a fascination with death, she didn’t start out seeking a career in funeral directing and embalming. She considered being a medical examiner, but was put off with the extent of schooling required. After high school she attended chelle focused on building the mortuary service. She was not only the sole embalmer, she did all the removals herself, on top of being a wife, first time mother to their five-month-old baby, and a bonus mom to her two step children. She was soon able to hire a part-time removal tech to help out with removals and take some of the work off her shoulders. The first month was underperforming with only 17 calls. In December COVID hit, devastating the 2022 19 View Online! MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com www.nomispublications.com Like @Nomis.Publications Brandenburg & Stein Funeral Parlor Opens See Page A4 Read the Untold Stories of the American Funeral See Page A12 Funeral Directors Association of Kentucky: Annual Convention & Mid-West Trade Show See Page A28 Classified Ads Shipping Directory Index of Advertisers
Page A2 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Published Monthly by: Nomis Publications, Inc. PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 1-800-321-7479 Fax 1-800-321-9040 www.nomispublications.com info@nomispublications.com Subscription: United States $30.00 - Canada/Mexico $60.00 Circulation 21,000 per issue. Overseas rates available. Deadline for Press Releases: 5th of the Previous month. Advertising: Display Ad rates sent upon request. Classified and Shipping Directory rates published in each issue. All advertising must be received by the 5th of the previous month. Due to the vast amount of sources, the publisher is not responsible for the content of any news articles or advertisements. Nor is the publisher responsible for any loss of revenue by failure to insert an advertisement. 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ISSN 1944-1126 Funeral Home & Cemetery News Online at www.nomispublications.com Online Directories US & International Funeral Homes • Supply Companies Cemeteries • Pet Memorialization Companies Trade Associations • Plus Much More... www.nomispublications.com NOTICE The FUNERAL HOME AND CEMETERY NEWS is now sent in two parts. Section A, which includes pages A1-A40 and Section B, which contains the Classified Advertising and consists of pages B1-B20. If you do not receive both sections please call 1-800-321-7479 or email info@nomispublications.com. Michelle at the installation of the third new cooler, which can house 87 decedents Michelle Johnston prepares to embalm during the Covid Pandemic Continued from Front Page East Texas Mortuary Service Continued on page A24 world. “It was a make it or break it time frame,” says Michelle. As the only embalmer, she and her small staff worked hard to serve the surrounding funeral homes and take great care of every decedent that passed through the doors. By the end of 2019, ETMS had concluded the year with 325 cases. “The business grew really quickly,” says Michelle, noting that she had to provide highquality work while still being a mom. “I barely had my feet on the ground when the pandemic hit. I was the only licensed embalmer for the full year of COVID.” As the business began to grow, so did the staff and the amenities at the mortuary service. Walls going up as the firm expands More removal techs were hired as well as an office manager to help with the workload. In January of 2020, a second embalming table was added to the prep room. This was followed by the purchase of the mortuary’s first threeman cooler. In August of 2020, the space grew to include a second rental bay, expanding to 2,000 square feet. With the expansion came many remodels, which included knocking down walls and building a new office. With Michelle still being the sole embalmer, 2020 ended with fulfilling 530 cases. Michelle was very proud at that time to have been recognized with the Texas Funeral Directors Association East Texas Embalmer of the Year award. In 2021, ETMS hit the ground running by hiring a second full-time embalmer. In March 2021, renovations began in preparation of pur- In December of 2021, Michelle was granted the ability to purchase the entire 4,000-square-foot facility. By the end of the year, the mortuary service had handled just shy of 1,000 cases; of our embalmers are female. In fact, it’s a full women staff. Men just don’t seem to come and ask me for jobs,” Michelle says, adding that there is a parttime worker who is male and comes every other weekend. (L to R) Marisa Gunstanson, Michelle Johnston, and Emmalee Kornowski awaiting the delivery of crematory equipment during expansion. Michelle left a hidden message during remodeling chasing an onsite crematory. Toward the end of 2021, another full-time embalmer was added to the staff, making for a total of ten staff members at ETMS and five removal vehicles. “There’s a lot of belief in the funeral industry that women can’t do the job, particularly with the heavy lifting, but all Like @Nomis.Publications Like us on Monthly Features Shipping Directory.................................................B11 Classified Ads. .......................................................B14 Calendar of Events.................................................B2 Death Notices. ........................................................A38 Educational News...................................................A26 Association News. ..................................................A28 Suppliers News.........................................................B1 MONTHLY Columns Aftercare by Linda Findlay......................................................... A8 Appropriate to Greatness by Alice Adams and Jim Kurtz...... A34 Bright Ideas for Funeral Directors by Mark Bowser................ A18 Embalming 101 by Wally Hooker.............................................. A16 HearseHub by Mike Jamar.......................................................... B6 Memoires des choix des Jacque by Kate Frediani-Gorman... A32 Observations by Steven Palmer............................................... A12 Powerhouse Marketing With Welton by Welton Hong. ............. A6 Random Musings by Nancy Weil................................................ A4 Rest In Peace Mr President by Todd Van Beck. ...................... A22 Working With Widowers by Fred Colby................................... A20 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
Page A3 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A View Online For Pricing! MODEL # 4BX 4 Body Mortuary Cooler View Online For Pricing! MODEL # 3BX 3 Body Mortuary Cooler Cots not included Scan QR for our website View Online For Pricing! MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler 1-888-792-9315 Chicago, IL (312) 940-7084 • Atlanta, GA: (470) 833-1393 Los Angeles, CA: (323) 982-3515 • New York, NY: (917) 793-5391 Columbia, SC: (803) 769-8153 Pittsburgh, PA: (412) 515-3019 Dallas, TX: (469) 498-1935 View Online! QUICK SHIP Mortuary Storage Racks 100% American Made • Triple Powder Coat Finish • High Impact Swivel Locking Casters Fastest Lead Time in the Industry • Custom Sizes Available Weight Capacity: 600 lb. per tier DISCOUNTED FREIGHT 3 Tier Side or End Load 4 Tier Side or End Load View Online! IN STOCK SHIPS TODAY! 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com 140 Kwickway Lane, Building #7 • Johnson City, TN 37615 • Email: cool@mymortuarycooler.com MADE IN USA
Page A4 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Cots, Caskets, Cremation Cases. All you need is the Remote Control and One Hand! 585-330-5772 .com Work Smarter, Not Harder! Affordable • Automated • Safe Loading and Unloading By Nancy Weil I read an article about a grief support group being held in an all-boys high school. At a time of life when their greatest worry should be acne, girlfriends and homework, these boys were all struggling with the death of a parent. The very people we take for granted will be there for us when we get home from school or across the dinner table at night, had tragically left this world too soon. These young men who had to hold it together all day, were able to be vulnerable and show their sorrow, their fears and their anger at what had happened to them in their life. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy crutches to handle the pain, they turned to one another. Teachers would come each month to the group and share their own stories of loss, many of their stories mirrored what their students were dealing with. They saw their teachers as vulnerable, as parentless children now grown up; they saw them as human beings with a wounded heart like their own. Over pizza and chocolate chip cookies, these young men journeyed together through their grief. Over shared words and understood pain, they healed. They also were challenged to do one thing every day: use three cents. Three pennies was the cost of this valuable lesson, and it is one we can all put into our own lives. They were instructed to take three pennies and put them in their pocket. Throughout the day they were challenged to make a difference to someone, to offer a kindness or help them in some way. Each time they completed this task, they were to take one penny and put it in their other pocket. By Random Musings the end of the day the goal was to have all three cents safely harbored in the opposite pocket from which it began. The challenge began all over again the next morning. Transforming pain into purpose, for these young men, came from reaching out to others. For those of us in the business, it means using the power of the loss we witness and turning it into a quest to make a difference every day in the lives of those we meet. It may be a family who enters our premises and looks for guidance and assistance. It may be the person we meet at the grocery store, the bank or on our other errands. It may be someone in our own family who looks to us for help. Many of you reading this will think what a simple task this will be. It is easy for us to give of ourselves. Our business even brings those in need right to our door. The phone rings constantly with a chance to help out. Three times a day? You may think that you could fill your pocket with pennies and still move them all to the other pocket by day’s end. But what about the other side of this equation: how good are you at receiving? Life is about balance and it is just as important that you are a good “receiver” and not just a joyful “giver.” Throw out the old adage: ‘tis better to give than to receive. You must do both. Can you ask for help when you need it? Do you welcome advice or assistance from those around you? Many people struggle with this and do not like to ask for help. Heck, they don’t even like to get help without asking. They are like the two-year old in the “me do” stage. They can do it all themselves, even if it is a bit of a struggle. If this sounds like you, read on for a reason to stop the old habit of “me do” and begin to allow the “yes, thank you” into your life. Research has shown that when a person receives a kindness, their serotonin levels rise, makMaking Cents of It All Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Order of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experience working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer support for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief ManagementSpecialist, FuneralCelebrant, Soul InjuryAmbassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: www.TheLaughAcademy.com or email Nancy@TheLaughAcademy.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at ing them feel good. The person who offers the kindness, their levels rise as well. Remarkably anyone who witnesses that kindness also has an upswing in their serotonin levels. The ripple effect of a kindness offered and received continues on. In fact, those people who received or witnessed a kindness were more likely to offer one to someone else that day. “Pay it forward” in action. Yet if you don’t allow someone to help you, you are depriving so many from the benefit of the kind action. “Me do” must make way for “you do for me” in order for this chain reaction to begin. Give and take, offer and receive, from one kindness to another. Take another three pennies and use them to mark each time you allow someone to help you. From pocket to pocket, person to person, the pennies are merely touchstones to remind us that our lives are enriched when we make “cents” out of our day. Burial Cradle CasketsSM Bay Memorials Zerbel’s Proportionally sized for Miscarried, Stillborn, & Newborn Babies Available in 10”, 20”, 30” allowing you to tastefully care for even the smallest baby with all the compassion every parent desires for as low as $48.00 Appropriate For Viewing Available in 10”, 20”, 30” Flannel Lined Unisex Juvenile Pattern White Corrugated Cardboard Beginning at $20.00 321 S. 15th St. • Escanaba, MI 49829 • 906-786-2609 • Fax 906-786-2692 • www.baymemorialsbabycaskets.com Infant Cremation Containers establishment to Gettysburg that will offer families “A New Way to Honor an Old Tradition.” They chose Gettysburg as the location for the funeral parlor for various reasons, the historical impact and the fact that the “funeral profession” got its start during the Civil War and Battle of Gettysburg, made the early 1900 church the ideal choice for them. The existing church cemetery with its long history filled legacy make them a complete funeral service provider for families. Not only offering families the traditional casketed funerals and cremations, but they are bringing the natural, green burial aspect to the area. Families will now have a greater choice and selection for the services they would like for their loved one. From a traditionBrandenburg & Stein Funeral Parlor Opens in Gettysburg Ribbon Cutting at Brandenburg & Stein Photo courtesy Darryl Wheeler/Gettysburg Times GETTYSBURG,PA— After a three-year ordeal to realize their dream, Brandenburg & Stein Funeral Parlor and Two Taverns Cemetery have opened. The funeral parlor is located at 3045 Baltimore Pike in Gettysburg. Co-owners Jim Stein and Rhea Brandenburg, both licensed funeral directors and morticians in the states of Pennsylvania and Maryland, made the decision to bring a new, modern, stateof-the-art funeral al church service or memorial, to holding things at their own homes. Families will be given the option of having the traditional preparation of their loved ones through embalming to not being embalmed at all. Traditional caskets and urns are available along with bio-degradable selections like bamboo urns, “tree” urns, sea salt urns and wicker caskets. The church building has a room for public visitation in the setting of an old-time parlor. Upon the completion of services, families can opt to have their loved one laid to rest in the adjoining Two Taverns Cemetery. The old church cemetery has approximately 600 open spaces available to the public. They will provide you the service that you want. Pre-planning and at-need services are offered. Send us your news! email info@NomisPublications.com FAx 1-800-321-9040 PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
Page A5 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Mortuary Walk-In Refrigeration 22ga. Smooth White Galvanized Steel With Anti-Microbial Sanisteel Antibacterial Pre-Coated Steel No matter how large or small the space, the Mortech team will get you the right equipment you need to make it work. We use only the highest quality materials to build our coolers and freezers. They are designed with prefabricated modular, precision formed, metal clad insulated panels to facilitate assembly and disassembly, when relocating and or expanding. Saniteel® is a film coating that has antibacterial properties, which are activated when microbial, fungal, and algae environments are present. It has a dual action, inhibiting the growth of germs and eliminating those that might be present. It is a focused solution to maintain a long lasting protection and hygiene even in those situations where normal cleaning may not be guaranteed. Give Us A Call (800) 410-0100 www.mortechmfg.com info@mortechmfg.com Call the Mortech team today at (800) 410-0100 to request a quote! MADE IN USA
Page A6 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A www.vischerfuneralsupplies.com Call 651-450-7727 to request a wholesale catalog, Our Extra-Large Cremains Bags (13”x 15”) are perfectly sized for the Standard Plastic Human Service Urn. or visit UrnBags.com to order some bags. Just $2.90 each*. * Bags sold in multiples of 10 Choose from Black, Blue, or Burgundy J t $3.10 each* Choose fr m Black, Blue, rgundy, Green or Gray By Welton Hong Growth marketing is a type of marketing that’s becoming more prevalent across all types of industries. Born of growth hacking, which refers to measures startups and software companies take to grow quickly, growth marketing focuses on driving success through better customer relationships, increased loyalty, and loops that inherently grow your business. It might sound like a trendy marketing buzzword, but growth marketing includes a set of solid tools that deathcare firms can use to create future success. In some ways, growth marketing works like other marketing tactics, although the focus is specifically on growth—such as getting more clientele or increasing the value of the services existing clientele choose. For most businesses, growth marketing efforts sit between other marketing arenas. For example, your funeral services firm might engage in brand marketing, which builds awareness about your firm and its products. Blog posts, radio ads, and billboards are common examples of brand marketing. You might also engage in product marketing. These are efforts that help you position existing or new goods and services to clientele or prospective clientele so they understand the benefits and can make an educated purchasing decision. A downloadable guide to preplanning or a checklist for memorial services that explains all the products someone might want are examples of product marketing. Growth marketing sits between brand marketing and product marketing, helping to drive more conversions and increase the value of those conversions. On the surface, growth marketing appears to be a process that aligns better with startups and product companies, such as Slack or Netflix. But some of the tools of growth marketing can help deathcare firms drive more success, especially in competitive or challenging markets. One of the main tools of growth marketing is the growth loop. This occurs when you take the outputs of your marketing process and convert them to inputs that drive more outputs. (Granted, that’s a lot of marketing speak that’s meaningless on its own, so let’s explore an example.) You might have used or heard of Slack, a team messaging and communication app. Slack’s growth runs primarily on a growth loop that works like this: • The Slack marketing team triggers an input. Someone does a Google search online for team communication tools, for example, and finds Slack’s website. They sign up, becoming an output of Slack’s marketing process. • The customer engages in trigger activity too. That person invites their team and business partners to join them on Slack. At this point, the person is now creating input into Slack’s growth loop. • That activity creates more outputs. Some of the people who sign up to collaborate with this person eventually create their own paid Slack accounts and invite other people to collaborate on different efforts. • The cycle continues, resulting in constant growth. Growth loops for most deathcare businesses look a bit different, but you can foster them to help drive organic growth for your firm. Here are some examples: • Google reviews. When a satisfied family leaves a positive review on Google or another website, that encourages other people to choose you for their preplanning or at-need services. That’s technically a growth loop, and it doesn’t cost you anything more than a little time asking for reviews. The Basics of Growth Marketing for Deathcare (Part 1) Powerhouse Marketing with Welton • Preplanning referrals. You might create a process that lets preplanning clientele refer others, perhaps gaining a small discount or free upgrade on their own service by doing so. Referral programs are tried-and-true examples of growth loops. • Follow-up cycles. Sometimes, the growth loop is less about bringing in new clientele and more about maximizing the value of the clientele you already have. For example, you may set up an annual check-in with early preplanners, knowing that their income and wishes might change as they grow careers or experience life changes. Such check-ins can lead to additional purchases that increase the value of each preplanning contract. Next month in this space, I’ll delve deeper into how growth marketing works, other core principles of this tactic, and how funeral homes, cemeteries, and cremation services firms can employ it for greater success. Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing® and a leading expert in creating case generation from online to the phone line. He is the author of Making Your Phone Ring with InternetMarketingforFuneralHomes. Formore information, visit www.FuneralHomeProfits.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Goodbye. The weekly one-hour internet radio show was made into podcasts, long before the popularity of today’s programs. Evergreen episodes are being reissued as two-part podcasts titled The Doyenne of Death®. The new versions accommodate today’s shorter attention spans and time availability. New interviews will be recorded as well. Subscribe and listen to The Doyenne of Death® wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to an introductory audio with Gail Rubin describing The Doyenne of Death podcasts here: https://the-doyenne-of-death.sounder.fm/. New episodes will be released every Thursday. Gail Rubin is also the author of Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die and Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips. Her Before I Die Festival in a Box® manual and tools for holding your own local festival is slated for release in Fall 2022. A free end-oflife planning form and 50-point Executor’s Checklist is available online at www.AGoodGoodbye.com. The Doyenne of Death® Podcast Explores Mortality Issues and Funeral Traditions ALBUQUERQUE,NM— How can we start planning for our 100% mortality rate? Death educator Gail Rubin, Certified Thanatologist, starts those conversations with a weekly podcast titled The Doyenne of Death®. The series tackles end-of-life issues with a light touch on a dark subject. A Doyenne is a woman considered senior in a group who knows a lot about a particular subject. Rubin is an award-winning author, speaker, and pioneer of outside-the-box activities to help people discuss death and funeral planning. She started in 2010 with the publication of her first death education book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die. Rubin’s motto is “Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead.” A pioneer of the Death Cafe movement and Before I Die Festivals in the United States, she uses humor and film clips in her presentations. She offers practical insights into the party no one wants to plan. By discussing end-of-life issues before there’s a death, families can reduce stress, minimize conflict, save money, and have a meaningful, memorable “good goodbye.” Episodes cover green burial, cremation, religious funeral traditions, grief impacts, Near Death Experiences, and other topics. In 2013, Gail Rubin hosted a live online broadcast, A Good Digital Directory Available Download instantly at Save on Shipping! www.NomisPublications.com
Page A7 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A BUSINESS IN BLUFFTON M K J S E M I N A R LET’S GET DOWN TO INCREASE CREMATION AVERAGES ATTRACT & RETAIN TALENT EXPAND YOUR E-COMMERCE NOVEMBER 7-9 • MONTAGE PALMETTO BLUFF BRING YOUR TEAM • GROUP PRICING AVAILABLE • CALL FOR DETAILS RESERVE YOUR ROOM TODAY* (888) 655-1566 • MKJMARKETING.COM/SEMINARS *ROOMS WILL SELL OUT WHERE LUXURY MEETS SOUTHERN COMFORT This five-star resort is set within a 20,000-acre retreat, including an extensive nature preserve, two picturesque villages with eight Southern-inspired dining options, shopping, a riverfront marina, and a Jack Nicklaus Signature Golf Course. FORBES 5-STAR RESORT ©2022 MKJ Marketing
Page A8 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A The Hallmark of Life & Death www.thebenevolenceurn.com $97.95 plus tax 919-638-9177 “In His Care” US Patent No: USD714.0145 China Patent No: Z102012300305438.2 European Com. No: 00208.59 By Linda Findlay Aftercare I want to share a series of conversations that I have had with a newly bereaved widow. I will share the story with no information that would identify the person. I think it is important to share an example of how I meet people where they are. I called a newly bereaved spouse one month after her husband’s passing. She talked to me about how hard it was to be in the house that her husband had designed and built many years prior. Everything she looked at was “him”. The windows, the woodwork, every detail. She had a table in the foyer were there were many pictures placed of him, and him and her together and their family. Every time she went by that table she stopped and found comfort in looking at the pictures. The next time I called was about three months after her husband’s death. She continued to talk about the details about the house and how everything was “him”. She said that the table in the foyer had been a source of sadness for her. Every time she passed by the table, she cried. She asked me what she should do with the pictures? I in turn I asked her what she thought she needed to do about the pictures. She said she wanted to take them down. I told her that I felt that she needed to do what felt right to her. I told her that if she decided to take the pictures down, it was her space and she had the right to fill her space to help accommodate her needs. On my next call, she told me she had taken the pictures down and she felt so much better about not seeing them. She talked about other challenges she was having and how she was navigating them. On the next call, I asked her how things were going for her. The first thing she said was, I put the pictures back up. I asked how she felt about that. She said she realized she needed the pictures there, as they had always been. The pictures not being there, made the table feel empty and it made her sad. I told her that taking the pictures down, was not a dishonor to her husband. Sometimes we do what we need to do to get through our days. None of our decisions are a measure of the love we have for those we have lost. When I said this to her, she said, “oh my goodness, I felt that I was dishonoring my husband when I took the pictures down.” She shared that she felt embarrassed to share her thoughts with anyone else! In the long run, our needs are best met by doing what is best for us at the time. Her experience with the pictures first provided comfort, they then invoked sadness, she took them down and then she put them back-all over the course of several months following the loss of her spouse. What was my role in all of this? Giving her the space and the time to share what she was experiencing. I gave her an opportunity “talk it out”. I met her where she was during each phone call. I did not tell her what to do with the pictures in her foyer. She made all of her own decision during those months. I gave her my understanding and willingness to listen-I met her where she was. This is just one small example of meeting people where they are. Grief lasts so much longer than anyone can imagine. Grief is felt emotionally, physically and spiritually. The experiences of a person’s grief can be felt in different depths and intensity and for varying lengths of time! That’s what is called “Grief Work.” It’s not so much the amount of time that goes by, it is very much about what the bereaved do with their time. Aftercare gives us the valuable opportunity to give people what they really need-meeting them where they are long past the funeral. I have been asked many times, what is it that I do for families as an Aftercare Coordinator. The answer to that question is simple – I meet people where they are. What does that mean? When I check in with families after their loss, the first question I ask is, “How is it going for you today?” I know that the answer to that question depends very much on when I ask. Often times, I call families on a day that they say they really needed to talk. It is amazing how often I am told that. I believe that there is no coincidence when this happens. I was meant to call when I called and the conversation I was to have, was meant to be had! This is why not only do I believe that I meet people where they are, I also meet them where they are when they need it most. There is a higher power always at play, in my opinion. How do I meet people where they are? I meet people where they are through the topics that they choose to talk to me about. All the conversations I have, have nothing to do with any set time frame. Any topic can come up one month after the loss or one year after the loss. The same topic can come up down the road and the experience of that topic may be different than the first time they shared with me. Just like there are no set stages of grief, the experience of grief is different at different times. There are a lot of reasons for this, too many to go into here. There are many topics that people want to share about. Some most frequent topics include: • Individual belief in a higher power-where are their loved ones after death? • What should have or could have been done differently? • Questions of why did this happen? • How am I going to take care of everything myself? • What do I do about major decisions I may have to make? • How long will I feel this way? • Why don’t people understand – where is everyone who offered help? Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Meeting People Where They Are PLC Enters Virginia and Further Expands its Footprint in the Southeast National Mortuary Shipping and Cremation Announces the Retirement of Suzanne Thomas Suzanne Thomas CLEVELAND,OH— After providing over 20 years of dedicated service, Suzanne Thomas from National Mortuary Shipping and Cremation announced her retirement. When asked what she will miss most, Sue stated “I will miss my co-workers dearly as well as our customers and vendors. I enjoyed learning all aspects of the funeral industry and there is something new to take with you every day.” Sue plans on focusing on herself during this newly found free time as well as hitting the casino! When asked what advice she would give to a first time NMS employee, she stated “I would say, give yourself time and space, this industry is a lot to learn but NMS will walk with you every step of the way. You take care of them; they will take care of you.” Angela Berwald of NMS states, “Sue will be missed, and we can’t thank her enough for her years of dedication and loyalty. Her expertise in both domestic and international shipping has helped many funeral directors around the globe and we are grateful she has shared her knowledge with everyone on our team.” TORONTO,ONTARIO— Park Lawn Corporation (TSX: PLC, PLC.U) is pleased to announce that it has entered into a definitive agreement to acquire substantially all of the assets of Farris Funeral Service, Inc. and Affiliated Service Group, Inc., a group of businesses consisting of one stand-alone funeral home and one on-site funeral home and cemetery located in Abingdon, VA. “We are excited to continue our strategic growth in the southeast by entering into the Virginia market with the Farris businesses,” said J. Bradley Green, Chief Executive Officer of PLC. Mr. Green continued, “Not only is Farris proximately located to our existing Tennessee and North Carolina businesses, but it is a premier business with a storied history of over 70 years of dedicated and compassionate service to its community. We are honored and look forward to having the Farris family and their team join PLC.” The addition of one stand-alone funeral home and one on-site funeral home and cemetery represents 358 calls per year and 224 interments. Second Quarter Dividend Announced PLC also announced that the quarterly dividend of $0.114 per share will be payable on July 15, 2022 to shareholders of record as at June 30, 2022. PLC provides goods and services associated with the disposition and memorialization of human remains. PLC and its subsidiaries own and operate businesses including cemeteries, crematoria, funeral homes, chapels, planning offices and a transfer service. PLC operates in three Canadian provinces and sixteen US states. Send Us Your News! We welcome news of the industry. info@NomisPublications.com PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 CALL 1-800-321-7479 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899
Page A9 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A
Page A10 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Landau Bars, Vehicle Nameplates, Bier Pins, and more www.GBURNSLLC.com Order online and use code NOMIS10 to save 10%* *Offer expires 8/31/2022. Valid for online purchases only. Not valid on past purchases or redeemable for cash. Cannot be combined with other offers. Funeral Vehicle Accessories Funeral Director David Rousculp Hosts The Quest Tournament, A New TV Quiz Show David Rousculp The Quest Tournament is a high school quiz show with local high school teams of four battling it out with their wits. The championship aired July 30th. The show was a vision of Mike Loomis a member of The General “Mad” Anthony Wayne Organization of Fort Wayne. The organization is focused on educating people on American History. “This show promotes not only American history but other topics as well. Here is a great way to highlight our young people who are doing well in academics,” says Loomis. “There was no question who we wanted to host the show. Rousculp is one of the most talented performers in state of Indiana,” Loomis continued. The shows were filmed back-to-back in two days. Rousculp, a true professional, gave each show a high dose of energy and was wonderful with the kids. “This was the first game show I had ever done on TV. It was so exciting,” says Rousculp. The plan is to air this every year. So far, the community reaction has been excellent. Local businesses stepped up too buying commercial time to help pay for the airtime. “I’m no Alex Trebek, that’s for sure, but the focus is not on me, it’s these great kids who need to be recognized for doing so well in school.” NEW HAVEN,IN— David Rousculp, general manager of Harper’s Community Funeral Home in New Haven, IN recently hosted a new TV show in the Fort Wayne area on WPTA Channel 21. The show aired every Saturday night from June 11, 2022, through the month of July. I nv i tat i on s • ya r d s i gn s • pos t e r s s tamp e r s • S e at i ng Ch a r t s • T i ck e t s B u s i n e s s Ca r d s and Forms • l a b e l s P romot i ona l I t ems • Acc e s sor i e s 8570 Foxwood Court Youngstown, Ohio 44514 800-321-7479 info@boardmanprinting.com www.boardmanprinting.com Now offering a Personalized Memorial Line custom greet ing cards • funeral programs • memor i al inv i tat ions t-sh i rts • magnets • prayer cards • Canvas Pr ints • full color banners Members of the Funeral Industry Save 10% Every Day! Call today for your FREE Sample Kit
Page A11 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A “Over the past ten years we have found C&J Financial always goes the extra mile to insure prompt filing and payment of insurance claims. You can trust they will always have your best interest on each policy they process.” Kenny Howe Holman-Howe Funeral Homes & You CJF.com | 800.785.0003 Everyday we are committed to amping up the profits and overall success of each one of our clients. While you know us for insurance assignment, we’re here to provide you with insights and programs that many of our client partners have used to help their firms reduce accounts receivables, increase cash flow andmaybe best of all, help increase their revenue per call up to 30%! Everything we do is driven by our passion to be a trusted partner to the many thriving funeral homes we serve. But don’t just take our word for it. Listen to what our partners have to say and then call or visit us online to learn more. Promises kept, revenues increased, success achieved.
Page A12 August 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A www.vischerfuneralsupplies.com Funeral Directors Research,Inc. AMRA INSTRUMENT, LLC 623 N. Tower (P.O. Box 359) Centralia, WA 98531 “the shorter the supply line the better off you are” WEB DIRECT GIFT & PRICING TM ® www.amrainstruments.com www.preproomdirect.com Century Fox and they immediately sent a drapery company to drape all windows. Marilyn’s body was described by Abbott: “She looked like a very average, ageing woman who had not been taking very good care of herself. Obviously, the circumstances surrounding her death had greatly exacerbated her poor appearance and she was unrecognizable.” The embalmer did his preservative procedure, but she still was not Marilyn Monroe. Abbott described the heavy neck and jowls caused by her lying face down and the autopsy loosening the neck muscles. A decision was made to draw her neck muscles together in the back. A small area of hair was cut and thrown in the trash. The studio sent over a Pucci gown, a bra and no panties. Abbott claimed the studio said she never wore them. The studio had also sent “falsies” she had used to enhance her appearance. She was then dressed, but still not Marilyn Monroe. Mrs. Hamrock of Pierce Brothers Management came into the embalming room and was dismayed at Marilyn’s appearance. She took out the falsies and threw them in the trash. She then shaped Marilyn’s bra with cotton until she was satisfied. Allan Abbott took the falsies and the cut hair and gave them to his wife, a devoted Monroe fan. Pat Spinelli, the night manager at Westwood, rolled a cot into the “reposing room” and spent the night there to serve as a security guard for Marilyn’s body. Joe DiMaggio and his close invitees had a private viewing of Marilyn the night before the funeral. Allan Abbott, Ron Hast, Marilyn’s hairdresser Sidney Guilaroff and her makeup artist Allan “Whitey” Snyder were the pallbearers. The only Hollywood person was her acting coach Lee Strasburg, who gave the eulogy. She was placed in a crypt at Westwood Memorial Park. The owner of the adjacent crypt later offered it for sale at a formidable price. It was finally purchased by someone who would be an appropriate neighbor, Hugh Hefner. He now rests adjacent to the woman who helped the sales of a very early Playboy magazine. Conspiracy theories about her death abound. Most involve the Kennedy brothers, Jack, and Bobby. No conclusive proof has been presented. Marilyn Monroe had a difficult life. She had a successful but difficult career. Her death will always be subject to conjecture. Goodbye, Norma Jeane Though I never knew you at all You had the grace to hold yourself While those around you crawled —Elton John, Candle in The Wind Observations “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” —Marilyn Monroe Dr. Ralph Greenson had to break the bedroom window. He climbed through and approached the bed. He gave its occupant a cursory look and told Dr. Hyman Engelberg, on the other side of the locked bedroom door, “She appears to be dead.” After Dr. Greenson unlocked the door, Dr. Engelberg entered and pronounced his patient, Marilyn Monroe, dead. It was 4:30 AM on August 5, 1962. Norma Jeane Mortenson entered this world June 1, 1926 in Los Angeles, California, the daughter of Gladys Pearl Baker. Her father was never known to her, and she was later baptized as Norma Jeane Baker. She was raised in an orphanage and several foster homes due to the mental instability of her mother, and had been abused in several of these settings. To escape from this unstable situation, she married James Dougherty at the age of 16 while working at an aircraft factory. Dougherty then joined the Merchant Marines, stationed in the South Pacific. Meanwhile, photographer David Conover was sent to the factory to capture the working women helping the war effort. Norma Jeane’s beauty captured his interest and his camera lens. He made her a pin-up girl. She attracted the attention of a modelling agency and was featured in dozens of magazine photoshoots and covers. When her husband returned from service, he wanted her to stop modeling. Norma Jeane realized this was what she wanted to do to make a better life for herself, and they divorced in 1946. Her career was underway with a new name, new hair color and a chance to be in the movies. Nothing happens overnight, but Marilyn’s on-screen beauty and appeal were getting the public’s attention. In 1953, she appeared in Gentleman Prefer Blondes and How to Marry A Millionaire. Several other successful movies led to The SevenYear Itch and Some Like It Hot. Her 32nd and final completed filmwas The Misfits in 1961 (which was also Clark Gable’s last movie). Marilyn’s personal life was never stable and full of variety. After her divorce from James Dougherty, she didn’t marry again until her 1954 wedding to the “Yankee Clipper,” retired New York Yankee Joe DiMaggio. Unfortunately, DiMaggio was another husband who had trouble sharing his wife with world, and they divorced before the year was out. Her third marriage was to playwright Arthur Miller in 1956. He wrote the screenplay for The Misfits, but they separated after filming and divorced shortly before the premiere in 1961. Her depression over her lost marriage sent her spiraling into depression and substance abuse. Marilyn had begun filming for By Steven Palmer Something’s Got to Give, co-starring Dean Martin. When she didn’t show up at the studio, they found her unresponsive at home. She had overdosed, but recovered. The film was shutdown. She cloistered herself in her Brentwood home. On August 4, she reportedly spoke to actor Peter Lawford, who invited her to dinner with his wife, Pat Kennedy Lawford. Marilyn told him she was too tired, but spoke these foreboding words, “Say goodbye to Pat, say goodbye to the President, and say goodbye to yourself because you’re a nice guy.” After midnight, Marilyn’s maid Eunice Murray noticed that her bedroom lights were still on. She tried the door, and it was locked. She knocked and received no response. Eunice called Marilyn’s psychiatrist, Dr. Ralph Greenson. Marilyn had called him earlier to say she couldn’t sleep. Dr. Greenson told Eunice he would respond right away. Marilyn’s physician, Dr. Hyman Engelberg, was also summoned to the scene. When Dr. Greenson broke the window and entered, he found what the rest of the world would shortly know: Marilyn Monroe was dead. Marilyn was found face down, naked, in her bed. The receiver of her phone was tightly clutched in her hand. Her body was transported to the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner’s office. The Chief Medical Examiner, Dr. Theodore Curphey, asked junior Medical Examiner, Dr. Thomas Noguchi, to perform the autopsy on a young woman found dead in a Brentwood home. Dr. Noguchi did not realize that this was Marilyn Monroe until he was standing at the autopsy table. Dr. Noguchi reported that the 36-year-old, 5’4” woman, weighing 140 pounds, died of “barbiturate acute poisoning, ingestion of overdose,” and due to “probable suicide.” The toxicology reports revealed 8.0mg per cent of choral hydrate (a sleeping pill), and 13.0mg per cent of pentobarbital (or Nembutal), both dangerously high levels. The rumors were rampant that she had been injected with a drug shortly before her death, however Dr. Noguchi did not find an injection point. It was the bruise just above her left hip and left side of her lower back, that bothered him then and bothers him now, as he stated in a 2009 interview. He added that he would not change the cause of death but still would call for another investigation, as the bruises cause him concern. Marilyn’s body was released to Westwood Village Mortuary and Memorial Park, owned by Pierce Brothers Management. Pierce Brothers called in Allan Abbott to supervise the funeral. Allan and his business partner Ron Hast ran a funeral home support service company, supplying hearses, limousines and flower cars and doing first calls. Abbott raced to the mortuary and noticed two things. First was that reporters and others were rattling the doors and peering through the windows. Second was the fact that they could see through the windows of the chapel. After obtaining permission, uniformed and armed Pinkerton security guards appeared. Abbott then called 20th Remembering Norma Jeane Steven Palmer entered funeral service in 1971. He is an honors graduate of the New England Institute of Applied Arts & Sciences. He has been licensed on both coasts, he owned theWestcott Funeral Homes of Cottonwood and Camp Verde, AZ, where he remains active in operations. Steve offers his observations on current funeral service issues. Hemay be reachedbymail at POBox 352, Cottonwood, AZ 86326, by phone at (928)634-9566, by fax at (928)634-5156, by e-mail at steve@westcottfuneralhome.comor throughhiswebsite at www.westcottfuneralhome.com or on Facebook. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Learn the Untold Story of the American Funeral Todd Harra WILMINGTON,DE— Why do we embalm the deceased? Why are funerals so expensive? Is there a reason coffins are shaped the way they are? When―and why―did we start viewing the deceased? And when―and why―did we start wearing black? How have funeral services evolved over time? Ceremonies for honoring the departed are crucial parts of our lives. Still, few people know where our traditional practices come from―and what they reveal about our history, culture, and beliefs about death. In Last Rites: The Evolution of the American Funeral, funeral director and historical burial rites expert Todd Harra shares the gripping explanations for these rarely answered questions. Harra takes readers on a fascinating historical exploration of American funeral customs and burial rites— showing where they came from, what they mean, and how they are still evolving. You’ll follow the gripping evolution, from the assassination, autopsy, and burial of Abraham Lincoln to Aquamation (flameless cremation) and even composting. The rich story of the American funeral is one of constant evolution. Whether you’re planning a funeral service or are simply intrigued by the meaning behind American burial practices, Last Rites is an informative and compelling exploration of the history― and future―of the ceremonies they use to say farewell to those who have departed this world. Todd Harra has over a decade of experience as a licensed funeral director and embalmer and is a certified postmortem reconstructionist and cremationist. He has written two nonfiction books about the profession, Mortuary Confidential and Over Our Dead Bodies, and is an associate editor for Southern Calls, a renowned journal in the funeral profession. Harra is the president of the Delaware State Funeral Directors Association. For more, visit www. toddharra.com. The book goes on sale August 2, 2022; ISBN: 978-1-68364-805-5. Send Us Your News! We welcome news of the industry. info@NomisPublications.com PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 CALL 1-800-321-7479 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
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