July 2017

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Page A22 JULY 2017 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS S ec t i on A
By Todd Van Beck
Avoidable
Problems
Throughout my career I have worked hard to eliminate
problems. Sounds utterly ridiculous doesn’t it?
In my early years in funeral service I was brain-washed,
and I was admonished over and over again that the worse
crime which lay upon the face of the earth was making a
mistake on a funeral. If a problem arose it was grounds for
severe consequences.
There was only one problem with this attitude: in reality,
problems abounded on funerals. In fact, looking back at
my career I don’t know if I ever conducted a funeral where
everything went the way I planned it out. If it were just
myself and the decedent, then possibly everything would
be to my liking – but I usually had to open the doors of the
funeral home, cemetery, church, or temple and let people
in. When people showed up the problems began.
Here is an example of problems people create: the fam-
ily’s personal car rear ending the funeral coach. I had this
happen. The family had decided to drive their own car,
which was following the hearse. I put the brake on, and I
looked into the side mirror and had that horrible feeling
of knowing I was going to be hit, and there was nothing I
could do to avoid the collision. This is another instance of
an unavoidable problem.
The family member driving the car hit the hearse so hard
that the back door was smashed in and we couldn’t get the
decedent out to complete the burial service. We had to go
to the auto body shop to get the back door taken off. You
can just imagine how thrilled the chaps that worked in the
auto body shop were when first they saw me roll in, and
second when they discovered that yes indeed there was a
dead person in the back! That door came off in record time!
With all this said I would like to suggest that there are also
AVOIDABLE PROBLEMS which with a little awareness
and attention can be within the control of the funeral pro-
fessional to insure that they will not happen.
External conditions in the funeral home that can and
should be avoided include interruptions and interferenc-
es.
About these two I feel rather strongly. The funeral confer-
ence interview is a basically demanding experience of all the
participants and so focus, privacy, and protection of this ex-
perience are very critical.
Here is an example. I worked in the management of a
funeral home where a particular funeral arranger was em-
ployed who was just weak in their skills. Their weaknesses
were primarily centered in their annoying addiction to cre-
ating interruptions on their own and tolerating interferenc-
es from others.
I sat in on several conferences that this funeral director
was responsible for and in one three hour session this per-
son jumped up, left the room, returned, and then jumped
up again – 20 times!
Not surprisingly this funeral director received so many
negative family surveys that in time the employment was
terminated.
The funeral/cemetery interview demands, among other
things, that the serving person concentrate as completely
as possible on the present situation, thus establishing rap-
port and building trust. Jumping up and down, leaving the
room and accepting messages that have nothing to do with
the needs of the clients never will create an atmosphere of
rapport and trust.
Outside interruptions, no matter their perceived legitima-
cy can only hinder the important goals of building trust
and establishing rapport. I have long thought that the typi-
cal funeral/cemetery professional has a window of time of
about 10 minutes to establish trust and respect.
In my humble opinion I believe one of the key substanc-
es of the funeral interview is that it is simply sacred. The
funeral interview is also extremely personal and deserves
and needs respect for both confidentiality and privacy.
I have actually seen some gutsy and creative funeral profes-
sionals make a practice of putting on the door a sign read-
ing “Do Not Disturb” or something similar. Although this
practice might be helpful, I feel it could also possibly have
the opposite affect and frighten and/or intimidate the client
family waiting outside or, at least, make them feel more anx-
ious than they already are.
When you have an incompetent, licensed or not, behav-
ing this way when they are confronted with their counter-
productive approach endless excuses usually are provided.
To be sure there are times in which we must leave the room,
but 20 times in one funeral/cemetery interview is pressing
the limits of the common sense approach to this sacred ex-
perience.
Funeral/cemetery professionals who are well prepared,
highly interested in their performance, who have their cli-
ent families absolute best interests at heart, who are secure
and grounded in who they are as human beings, and who
have successfully established trust and respect with the client
family do not behave in such a manner.
Disorganized, rattled and frazzled funeral/cemetery inter-
views are never the fault of the client family. This is always
the fault of the funeral professional interviewing the client
family and the good news is, the situation is totally avoid-
able.
Keys to
Service
Todd Van Beck is a person who has had a half-century love affair
with both funeral and cemetery service. He willingly admits that he is
no “expert!” but also quickly admits that there is nothing about this
work and life that he does not enjoy, and have intense interest in.
Todd says: “I have never done a day’s work in my life, it has all been
fun and interesting.” Todd has been an active writer and speaker
internationally for many decades covering most every topic that is
relevant to our profession. Mr. Van Beck grew up in Southwestern
Iowa, and declared at the young age of 5 years old that he would
become a funeral director when he grew up. He is still growing up,
still learning, still trying to make some kind or worthy contribution to
his beloved profession. Todd has operated funeral homes, cemeteries
and mortuary colleges, and confesses that he has been a vagabond
throughout his career, simply because he wanted to see the world.
Todd is the Director of Continuing Education for the John A. Gupton
College in Nashville, and his wife, Georgia, R.N., is a Clinical Director
for Alive Hospice also in Nashville.
2016-2017 Scholarship Donors and Recipients
Phil Mathis Dr. Hari P. Close
Donor: Dr. Hari P. Close
Dr. Hari P. Close, own-
er and founder of the Hari
P. Close Funeral Servic-
es, PA in Baltimore, MD,
is licensed in Maryland,
the District of Columbia,
Massachusetts and Dela-
ware. He has served as ex-
ecutive director for the Na-
tional Funeral Directors and
Mortician Association. As
president of the Interna-
tional Conference Board of
Funeral Examining Boards,
Dr. Close made a commit-
ment for preparing stu-
dents for their ministry in
funeral service by encour-
vice Executive Council, Ed-
ucation, and Policy Board.
Education and license is a
top priority for Dr. Close,
who assists the 100BWFS
with a mortuary scholar-
ship.
Donor: Phil Mathis
Phil Mathis of Phil’s
Coaches has faithful-
ly served the automobile
business since the early
1970’s and learned the art
of merchandising and fi-
nancing vehicles in the
Washington, DC area. He
became one of the first mi-
nority Cadillac represen-
tatives. In 1991, Moore
decided to sell and con-
tract with Federal Coach
of Fort Smith, AR, serving
as general manager of Fleet
Sales, and in 1992, Cadil-
lac introduced the Profes-
sional Vehicle Group.
In 2010 Phil became the
first minority distributor
representing the Mid-At-
lantic Region. With the
opening of the Funeral
Car Store, he intended to
bring the market place the
same high integrity and
professionalism that he has
learned and acquired over
the years. More than ten
years ago, Phil donated his
first mortuary science schol-
arship. He is always a will-
ing successful businessman
who makes things happen
for students through finan-
cial donations.
ticians and Funeral Direc-
tors of Maryland and has
also worked on the Amer-
ican Board of Funeral Ser-
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aging them to strive for
excellence in all that they
do. He served as president
of the State Board of Mor-