March 2017

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Page A8 MARCH 2017 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS S ec t i on A
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By Kristan Dean
Let’s
Chat
In 2000 Kristan Dean began working with her family to bring
Merry Christmas From Heaven® to all who need the gifts’ mes-
sage of Comfort, Love, and Faith. Today she is the Vice President
of Marketing and one of the primary members of her family’s
Bereavement Ministry.
Thanks, in great part, to the thousands of funeral directors and
retailers nationwide who make Merry Christmas From Heaven® a
part of their communities, countless numbers of families reach out
to their family every year. Their bereavement ministry helps families
realize that those in Heaven live forever in our hearts. Their love is
with us always.
Prior to Mooney TunCo, Inc. Kristan worked with companies nation-
wide helping them build revenues by creating greater sales opportuni-
ties through the use of sales intelligence and marketing alignment.
A few years ago I got to tell you about The Shack and
how the book took my heart to a new level. With the
movie rolling out this month and my recovery moving
slower than I would like I believe this might be the perfect
time for me to re-ask: Do you ever wonder about what
the relationship between The Father, Holy Spirit, and Je-
sus is like? Not the holy trinity we learn about in scrip-
tures and in church, but how they relate to each other and
us? I cannot say that I have given much thought to what
the everyday relationship is like between the Holy Trinity
because I would never have known where to begin until I
read The Shack by Wm. Paul Young, a book about Paul’s
friendMackenzie Allen Phillips’ weekend with God, Jesus
and the Holy Spirit that is opening my eyes to the beauty
and strength unconditional love brings to relationships.
I get that it sounds unreal and maybe impossible to
imagine that the Holy Trinity would invite one man to
spend the weekend with them. Even Paul writes, “Wheth-
er some parts of it are actually true or not, he won’t be the
judge…” that though he desperately wants everything
Mack told him to be true and most days he is right there
with him “…on others – when the visible world of con-
crete and computers seem to be the real world – he loses
touch and has doubts.”
Still I ask you to put your doubts aside and wonder what
it would be like to spend a weekend with God the Father,
the Holy Spirit and Jesus. Imagine cooking with the Fa-
ther, dining with the Holy Trinity, and doing dishes with
Jesus and the Holy Spirit. What would hiking and gaz-
ing at the stars with Jesus be like? How would it feel to
garden and canoe with the Holy Spirit? What wounds
would they heal if they gave you a weekend in their pres-
ence? How would you grow if you spent a weekend with
the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus chatting about life,
observing their relationship with each other, and learning
about how God, the Holy Trinity, sees their one relation-
ship with you, humanity, and our planet?
Personally, I am not sure how anyone could imagine
such a weekend unless the Divine makes it possible to
experience. This is why I believe The Shack is about more
thanMack’s struggles in life, journey in faith, and how the
Divine became an active part of his life. For me The Shack
is a book that can help us open our own hearts to how we
will heal if we can realize and grow the unconditional love
we already have.
The relationship the HolyTrinity shares with one anoth-
er that Mack describes is inspiring me to find new ways
to interact with those I love and those that I only know.
Reading about the relationship the Father, Son, and Holy
Spirit share together and with us makes me realize that I
need to grow in my ability to accept that love is uncondi-
tional. Thanks to Mack’s meeting with the divine Sophia
I have no doubt that we are not here to judge others and
hold each other accountable for what we see as wrong.
The Shack is helping me see more clearly that we are here
to learn that we are more than our individual selves.
Our true purpose is to combine our gifts so that we may
become whole. The question is how do we find the grace
to put the other person first in all of our interactions? I for
one am far from being able to do this. I am asking God
and all who knowme to help me grow in my ability to ac-
cept where I am wrong, stop fighting for how I am right,
and move forward in harmony. From my friends that do
not share my faith I know that asking God is not the an-
swer for everyone. I thank each of them for teaching me
that there is a heart within all of us that can help us grow
in our ability to stop putting ourselves first, realize we are
here to steward the resources of this planet, and find the
strength unconditional love can gives us.
I look forward to learning what inspires you to grow in
your ability to give and accept unconditional love. Please
join in our conversation on the Let’s Chat Blog at https://
, email me at
or give me a ring at 781-331-
5308. I look forward to hearing from you.
Book Review:
Grief Demystified by
Brenda J. DeMotte
Submitted by Dan Rohling, CFSP
Something new, useful and helpful to both you and
those you serve. Not a new casket, a new way of lit-
erally “disposing” of human remains or a cemetery
marker that glows in the dark……..
Grief Demystified was written by one of us. Bren-
da J. DeMotte is a licensed funeral director and em-
balmer with years of experience in the trenches. Sub-
sequent to her funeral career she returned to school
and became a psychotherapist. Based upon her expe-
riences in the funeral business and as a psychothera-
pist she works as a grief therapist, is a professional
speaker and educator on grief.
As we all know grief is something we learned little
about during our funeral service educational experi-
ence, beginning and perhaps ending with the works
of Elizabeth Kubler Ross. This rather short read does,
in fact, demystify grief and gives one a helpful pro-
spective pertaining to understanding where your cli-
ents are in their process of grief.
Grief Demystified is 159 pages of real world experi-
ence interspaced with excerpts from DeMotte’s years
of experience and personal interjections.
If you do nothing else with Grief Demystified read
it and have all of your staff read it. Once read it will
allow you to understand those in grief that you work
with everyday. Keep a copy of Grief Demystified on
your arrangement office desk, in plain sight and loan
it out to those who show interest.
For those currently in the funeral or funeral related
industries it should be a required read for each em-
ployee thereof. I enjoy any feedback the reader may
have. I may be reached at .
Dan Rohling, CFSP is licensed as a funeral director/
embalmer in Idaho as well as an embalmer, certified cre-
matory operator and funeral director in California. He
has been a licensee for over 30 years. In 1998, he joined
DMORT (Disaster Mortuary Operational Response
Team) as a Mortuary Officer for the Federal Govern-
ment at time of disaster. Deployments with DMORT in-
clude The World Trade Center, hurricanes Ivan, Charlie
and Katrina. For over 20 years Rohling has worked na-
tionally as a consultant and expert witness in the funer-
al, cemetery and crematory industries.
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Kevin Smith
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256-504-2649
Danny Smith
Director of
Business Development
757-714-7156
407