Halloween candy is still in the plastic pumpkins waiting to be eaten. Fall leaves cover our yards and the aroma of fresh apple pie tempts us from our diets. Thoughts of busy malls filled with Christmas shoppers, hanging lights and shoveling snow seem far away. Yet to those families we serve, Christmas is a sad reminder of their loss…and Christmas is here for them already.

  Go into any grocery store, mall or card store and you will find large displays of Christmas items beckoning the early bird shopper. You may even find a Christmas song or two on the Muzak playlist. Forget Thanksgiving, those promotions began before the leaves even changed to shades of red from green. K-Mart experienced a surge of backlash when they aired a commercial for their layaway service in September. Consumers say they don’t want an extended holiday season, yet their spending habits indicate a different view. And with fewer shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas and Chanukah starting early this year, who can blame them? Yes, it’s time to get out the wassail punch, put Perry Como’s Christmas album on the turntable (or iPod) and plan your outing to see the Nutcracker, even as you prepare your Thanksgiving feast.

  It is also time to plan your holiday remembrance service for the families you have served; time to get the holiday cards ready to mail to those for whom this will not be a “Merry” or a “Happy” or a “Jolly” season. Let them know that you understand how difficult this is for them and that you are there to support them throughout the coming months. There are two truths that I tell my grief support group: 1.) January 2, 2014 will arrive and you will have made it through the holidays and 2.) We will get through it together.

  If you don’t offer a community remembrance service this time of year, don’t worry, there are plenty of places that do. Hospitals, hospices and churches are only a few of the organizations who gather people together in December to remember, to comfort and to heal. Why not make a list of these services and send them out to your families? Search out where the “Handling the Holidays” talks are being held (or hold one yourself). Make it easy for them to find out where to go when the holiday blues strike.

  Then consider holding your remembrance service at a time when few do – Valentine’s Day. Our cemetery opted to stop holding our remembrance service in December a few years ago when snow once again interfered with our plans. By holding our service in February, the chances are that the weather forecast will be better and that people will be grateful for a chance to gather and remember their loved ones during a time of year traditionally dedicated to “love.”

  Instead we use December to send out holiday cards and hold our Heavenly Hearts Grief Choir recital. There Christmas songs ring out with joy and laughter as we hold our loved ones in our hearts and heal our soul with song. Our choir began rehearsals in September and it was definitely difficult to sing about a “White Christmas” and “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with the windows open and the birds singing. Our group turned the public holiday display into a private healing venture. The songs we sing are designed to uplift and give purpose to “Christmas in September.” Maybe K-Mart could learn a thing or two from our approach.

  So, take some time as you sip your cider and plan how your company is going to address the needs of those you serve during this upcoming holiday season. Although pre-need sales may slow, the needs of the bereaved grow, as we make our way into 2014.