We spend more hours with them than we do with our own families some weeks, yet how well do you know the people you work with? Of course you know the basics: name, marital status, kids, etc., but do you really know them? If you knew your co-workers better would it change the way you worked with them? Would it change the role they played at the office?

  Getting to know a person takes time, it takes effort and it takes a desire to go beyond the perfunctory “How are you?” Professional relationships are a bit like dating. You begin with finding the similarities – music preferences, food choices, etc. It is only later that you begin to go deeper and discover what type of music they like and what type of food they eat. Only then can you begin to understand who they are and what makes them tick. However by doing this, you can begin to discover the gifts they hold that you can use to make your business grow. You will know how to help them on a challenging day. You can uncover their career goals and help them turn their potential into reality.

  I once read a business book that discussed how to reward employees for a job well done. While some were motivated by a cash bonus, others preferred paid time off. Then there was the story of one boss who learned that his assistant loved to dance. So each week, at a different time, he would call her into his office, turn on the music and share a dance with her. She loved that he understood her interests and was willing to take the time to “meet her where she was at.” It only took him a few minutes out of his day and both of them felt rewarded for their efforts.

  Do you know what each person at your office would want as a “thank you”? Do you know their hobbies, interests, children’s names and ages? While some things cannot be discussed or asked, there are many areas where you can connect with one another. Of course, not every person is comfortable sharing, so you need to also determine who welcomes these conversations and who views it as T.M.I. You also need to stay away from certain topics, such as politics, in an office environment.

  Start with these simple questions for each person you work with:

•         Birthday (not age, just date) – How do you recognize birthdays at your office? Cards? Staff lunch? Not at all?

•         Names, ages and interests of children – Kids are our main motivation for working. We want to provide for them and we also want to know that we are being the best parent we can be for them. Do you allow personal time off for your staff to attend their child’s field trip or school event? Can you help your co-worker by covering a shift so that they can attend their kid’s baseball game? Are you genuinely interested when they share a proud parenting moment?

•         Personal hobbies and interests – What do your co-workers enjoy doing away from the office? Golfing, knitting, sci-fi club? Are any of their hobbies something you can ask them to speak about to area groups to help raise awareness of your funeral home or cemetery? Can they share an interest with the rest of your staff (fitness tips, recipes, etc.)?

•         Pets – We love our fur babies and are eager to show you our latest photo of our cat curled up in the sun or our dog chewing on a bone. We also get distracted if they are sick and grieve when they die. Even if you don’t like animals, your co-workers do, so make an effort to laugh when they tell you about the time the cat skidded off the counter and landed on their feet.

  There are lots of other areas to discover, but this gives you a starting point. Everyone wants to feel accepted for who they are. Everyone wants to feel that others care about them. As Sally Field gushed upon winning her second Academy Award, “You like me, right now you like me.” Make sure those around you know that you do.