There is a party game called “Would you rather?” In it you pose a question with two options from which to choose. It allows for interesting insights and answers and laughter from all. Here are some examples of “Would you rather…?” questions:

  They may be silly: Would you rather your only mode of transportation be a donkey or a giraffe?

  They may be deep: Would you rather be famous when you are alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you are alive but famous after you die?

  They may be thought provoking: Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself?

  Or just fun to consider: Would you rather be completely invisible for one day or be able to fly for one day?

  This game got me thinking about a version for people who work in the funeral industry.

  Would you rather follow the rules or go out of your way to help a family?

  I had a sign on my desk that said, “People over policies.” I always did what I could to satisfy a family. It may require a meeting with the president of the cemetery, but I advocated for the family and tried to find a way around the rules and regs when they just didn’t make sense for the situation.

  Would you rather stay up until midnight writing a special service for a family or watch TV, go to bed early and offer them the same prayers you always do?

  This is a tough one to answer. Most funeral directors are already sleep deprived from working long hours and taking death calls during the night. Most families are happy with a simple service that sounds new to them. They appreciate any effort you make on their loved one’s behalf. Yet as a celebrant I have spent many evenings at my computer researching and writing a service that may only last 20 minutes, but took me six hours to complete.

  Would you rather stay late at the office catching up on your workload or go home for dinner knowing the to-do list will just build the next day?

  Again, an impossible quandary. It seems you can get a lot done when the office is quiet and the staff has left for the day. Yet your spouse has forgotten what you look like and you can’t imagine one more drive through meal to eat at your desk.

  Would you rather attend your child’s baseball game or staff a client’s calling hours?

  Some of these questions have the answer you want to give, but you know you will still do the one that is required of your job. How many concerts, games and events have you missed because a family you serve needs you more at that moment than your own family?

  Would you rather take care of a family’s needs or send them to a competitor because you just don’t offer what they are asking?

  This actually happened to someone I know. They got a call from a family that wanted a “thumbie” piece of jewelry, but their funeral home did not offer this product. So they were told to call another funeral home and ask them to go over, take the thumbprint and order the jewelry for them. The original funeral home may have gotten this family’s funeral, but I am pretty sure all future ones will be with the company that went out of their way to help them.

  By now I am sure you are forming all kinds of questions in your head. Write them down, pose them to your staff and share them with me. Every day we have a “Would you rather” moment where we must do the difficult right over the easy answer (not wrong, just easy.) And so I leave you with more question to ponder:

  Would you rather work long hours where you can leave a lasting positive impact on someone or barely work but help no one?

  I know my choice. What’s yours?