I’ve been engaged in funeral service since 1986. I’ve seen many things in this industry, but never have I experienced what I came across recently.

  I had seven couples, my wife and I are acquainted with, ask me to assist them in pre-planning their funeral services. Each couple wanted to be cremated, however they also wanted to have their body embalmed and presented for a public viewing and final remembrance service prior to the cremation. On the surface, this appears like a good thing. They didn’t want a direct cremation; they wanted a public viewing with a service. Yeah!! Here’s the catch. They didn’t want their public viewing and final remembrance service to be conducted at the funeral home.

  “Why don’t you want to use the funeral home?” I asked.

  Here is the gist of what they all had to say: “I don’t want to use the funeral home because the funeral home is a place of death. I want people to remember me in happier surroundings where I enjoyed spending my time.”

  What a revelation!

  Three couples wanted everything conducted at their church. One couple wanted to use a “party room” at their Country Club. One couple wanted to use the community clubhouse at their lakefront retreat. Another couple wanted to hold their services at the local VFW hall and the last couple liked to spend their time at a local Antique Mall, which had an Event Center attached to it. Therefore, “Why not hold everything at the Event Center, so my friends can Antique Shop after visiting with me?” Who am I to argue with this logic?

  Funeral directors have been told that the rise in cremation is due to cost considerations, environmental concerns, fewer religious prohibitions and changing consumer preferences, such as a desire for less ritualized funerals.

  My experience showed me there may be one more reason. Many consumers may not be anti-funeral, public viewing, cost conscious, anti-religious or anything else. They just don’t want to conduct their final farewell in the funeral home. They would rather have these important final remembrances held in places they frequented and enjoyed in life. A funeral home, by its very nature, is not such a place.

  If consumers don’t know and/or understand that other locations and places could be an option for them, then they wrongly believe that their only option is to conduct a ceremony “at the funeral home.” If they don’t want to use the funeral home, then they opt for minimal services or direct cremation.

  If families don’t care to conduct their final goodbyes at your funeral home (just because it’s a “funeral home”) then what becomes of all the time and money you have invested in your facility, furnishings and surroundings? How will you recoup your investment, if families won’t use it?

  If I were a funeral home owner, the first thing I would do is make sure all families in my service area understand that my funeral home can and will conduct final remembrance ceremonies anywhere they desire, so long as it is allowable by law. Anywhere, anytime, any way…that would be my maxim. If they don’t want to use my facilities, that’s fine, as long as they use all my other services. There are a multitude of goods and services I can offer families that would profitably support my bottom line.

  Secondly, I would seriously consider marketing my funeral home facility space for other events. Marketing the use of your grounds and facilities to local groups will help bring in additional revenue and make consumers more aware and more comfortable with your establishment and surroundings.

  What do you think? If families are shifting away from using your facility, how could you use your funeral home space for something new? Where is the most unexpected place you’ve ever held a funeral or memorial service? I’d love to know your experience, thoughts and comments about what I just experienced.