“Thank you for your kindness during such a difficult time.”
“Thank you for remembering the one year anniversary of my loss.”
“Thank you for helping me find where my relative is buried.”
Thank you…thank you….thank you.
It is a wonderful validation to receive a hand written thank you card in the mail from a family you have served. To know that your efforts were appreciated and that you were able to make a difference during such a difficult time is gratifying. It motivates us to show up, do more, care more and outperform expectations, even when there is no formal recognition. As much as we do the work we do, because we love it, there is still a place in our ego where being noticed for our efforts feels really good.
I have a place in my file drawers where I put every card I have ever received. I know that if I am ever having a really bad day, I can always look through my “thank you file” and remember the difference my presence makes on others. Fortunately, I have yet to follow through on this, but I know that they are there.
Since I know how good it feels to get a card, I also make time to mail out cards to others... in the mail, with a stamp, handwritten. Not a Facebook post, a tweet, a poke, an instant message, text or email. Those don’t last, cards do. Recently, I stayed at a hotel for a speaking engagement. The person at the front desk was extremely helpful to me and went out of her way to make sure everything was as I needed it to be for my program. When I returned home, I mailed her a thank you card letting her know how much her efforts were appreciated. It felt good to write it and I had fun imagining her surprise when she received it.
Research supports my good feelings when giving or receiving such a note. It has been found that when you offer a kindness to someone, your serotonin levels that make you feel good, rise. The person who receives the kindness, their levels rise as well. But, here is the cool part…everyone who witnesses the act of kindness also has their serotonin levels rise. From one act of kindness, the ripples reach out to a wide circle. Cause and effect: one simple act that can make such an impact.
In my laughter talks, I discuss the Daily Living Principles and one of them is kindness. It is that important a virtue to focus on due to its influence on self and others. We have all heard of the “pay it forward” concept. One small act inspires the next person and the next until the world is lit up with love. Well, maybe it doesn’t go that far, but after the Newtown shootings, one person challenged others to perform 26 acts of kindness, one for each victim. What an incredible response to violence.
In our industry, kindness can be calling a family you have served and seeing how they are doing or going out with an umbrella and helping someone walk into your funeral home on a rainy day. It can be taking the extra time to take someone out to a find a hard unmarked grave of a relative and allowing them to connect to their past. Even bringing doughnuts or another treat to your co-workers is an act of kindness that is welcomed and appreciated. We have so many ways to extend ourselves to others each day. We do it because it is our job. We do it because we care. We do it because we make a difference. We do it even when the client is grumpy or rude. We do it because this is our calling and we do it day in and day out. And it is really great when someone takes the time to notice and say, “Thanks.”