A few weeks ago I got one of those phone calls that stop time. My dear cousin Margie, who certifiably had the cleanest, most beautifully cared-for house of anyone I knew, passed away. After trading fond memories with Margie’s daughter, I was informed of funeral arrangements.
A neighborhood funeral home was selected based on proximity to their home and church. “After all,” her children reasoned, “all funeral homes are pretty much the same.” They appreciated the funeral director’s kind and professional service. Parking was ample and a beautiful pearlized hearse was scheduled.
During my 5 hour drive there, I received a call from my business-savvy sister. “This funeral home really needs your services. Make sure you have furniture catalogs and business cards. Margie’s husband sank down into the sofa and couldn’t get out. Bill is distraught and now embarrassed. I don’t understand why they chose this place. It looks as if this funeral home hasn’t been updated since Margie and Bill were married 50 years ago. She deserved better than this!”
A ‘before hours’ arrival allowed me to assess my cousin’s next-to-the-last resting place. The stately exterior needed a spring sprucing up after winter. Upon entering the funeral home, a quick scan of the décor increased my sadness.
· Tired-looking upholstered chairs in the hall sported 1980’s green crushed velvet
· The 1960’s wood frame sofa covered in a non-coordinated 1990’s navy/burgundy stripe displayed frayed welting and crushed cushions
· The 1980’s neutral wallpaper was in surprisingly good condition as was the unattractive green carpeting
· The obligatory Queen Anne tables and dull lamps offered no enhancement to the dismal furnishings
· Heavily draped, light-blocking window treatments felt oppressive
· Overgrown ‘greenery’ (inside and out) caused a few of us ‘missteps’ to avoid branches.
My meticulous cousin would never have invited people to her house if it looked like this. While the facility was clean, there was an air of grandmotherly neglect. And my sister’s words were echoed by other relatives who sought me out.
After the ceremony, I asked Margie’s family how they perceived the ‘funeral experience.’ This was the first funeral her children had ever planned. They were satisfied. Probing further, I asked specifically about the facility.
“Funeral homes are cheerless, gloomy and somber. They are depressing places.” Margie’s daughter offered. “It seems the mood and décor of funeral homes are designed to reflect how we feel at the time – depressed!”
We all know that beauty and comfort attract and soothe. Think about it - medical facilities have become quite beautiful and we feel less stressed when we are there. So it follows that beautiful funeral homes allow us to graciously honor a loved one and comfortably welcome friends.
How might visitors characterize your facility’s décor?
Designed to Depress
- Poor, shadowy lighting
- Crushed, twisted cushions
- Abraded, worn fabrics
- Faded colors/ ‘dated’ colors
- Scratched wood arm/leg/table surfaces
- Sun-faded, worn carpeting
- ‘Antique accessories’ – lamps, pictures, etc.
- Old wallpaper/ stark white walls
- ‘Sunken’ or too soft seating
- Wobbly chair backs & legs
- Small-sized seats
- Obstructive ‘greenery’
- Heavy drapery
Designed to Delight
- Well-lit through out
- Crisp, firm cushions
- Abrasion-resistant, stain-resistant, crisp fabrics
- Attractive patterns/ current trend colors
- Re-finished woods/ glass tops/ laminate surfaces
- All-over pattern or updated solid color
- Well-framed paintings, grouped wall art & 3 way lamps
- Painted or faux finish walls in colors other than white
- Sofas & chairs with firm cushions/ heavy gauge springs
- Extra-durable, sturdy frame styles
- Generously-sized seats with arms
- Appropriately-sized indoor plants/trees
- Light-filtering window treatments
The funeral industry is beset with adjectives such as gloomy, forlorn, and depressing. No business wants to engender those words. The word ‘home’ conveys feelings of comfort, welcome and a place for celebrations. Assume that everyone who visits is a ‘metic ulous Margie’ and update accordingly. Be assured - families will remember and return to a ‘designed to delight’ environment for future life celebrations.