As I write this column I believe our entire planet is thinking about the grotesque acts in Paris that ISIS is claiming as its own. Our sports teams, like the Bruins here in Boston, are using their first moments on the ice to fill the Boston Garden with the French Flag. Everyone in the arena and all of us watching on TV had the opportunity to take a moment of silence so that we may feel the depths of our own emotions and send all who are in the grips of terror and grief our love.
At this moment we are one with Paris. We feel their pain. We are doing our best to comprehend what it is like to experience what the news is reporting as the most violent acts to take place in France since World War II. Just as we did when people around the globe joined with us after al-Qaeda tried to destroy our own country’s humanity by killing over 3,000 people during their attacks on New York, Washington, D.C., and the passengers who brought down their own plane in Stonycreek Township, PA.
Our leaders are joining together to find the answers they hope will end the carnage that terrorists leave in their wake. Our law enforcement agencies and personnel are doubling and tripling their efforts to keep us safe. Cities like Boston around the world are lighting up their buildings in the colors of France. In this moment our world is coming together as one to share our love and show our support for every life ISIS destroyed in Paris.
As we read this column the horror, anger, sadness, and connection we feel for those grieving every death in Paris may seem like an almost distant memory. For us it might be because this column does not arrive in our inbox until next month. But for those who love the people ISIS destroyed on November 13, 2015 there is no way the horror of that day is a memory. They are living it! Their hearts are breaking with the excruciating pain grief brings and they are realizing more and more how their lives will never be the same.
You know that pain! You see it in every family you serve. It is the pain you feel when death takes someone you love more than life. There are no words that can describe it. Excruciating is not a big enough word for the acute pain death creates in our hearts. Still as time goes by those not in a state of active grief begin to go on with their lives at a much faster pace than those who are in pain.
It seems to be human nature. When someone dies everyone rallies to be there for those who are grieving. We make sure they are not alone in their grief. We make meals, do errands, share memories, and give our time to those who are grieving. Then as time passes we go back to our own lives. We leave people to face their own grief on their own. Sure we call, check in, and offer to help because we care. We are just unable to stop our own lives to be there as much as we do at first.
Everyone understands why we go on with our lives. They know we are not feeling their pain. Still almost every person I speak with wishes that the people now going on with their own lives would slow down and take a few more moments to just sit with them. Stop telling them “to get over it” and allow them to feel and express what is in their hearts.
As we enter this season of giving I pray that you will renew your efforts to be there for your families long after they use your services. Find new ways to spend these extra moments with the families you serve that they need. Reach out! Be a part of the answer that helps your families find their own path to healing after most of the people they know begin to go on with their own lives.
As much as I am asking of you in this column I pray that the love of this season fills your heart! I look forward to your thoughts. Please ring me at 617-980-1728 email me at kristan@mooneytunco.com or better yet be part of the conversation at the Let’s Chat Blog.