Do you ever let frustration and anger take you past the point of logic and compassion?  In that moment when the slow boil of your emotions turns red are you always able to catch yourself? Of course not, you are human.  I am too. 

  Sure there are times when we recognize that we are heading toward the edge and we stop ourselves. We meet our frustration with logic and compassion before we let our emotions unravel.  We choose not to reach out in anger or frustration because we see no good will come from it.  I wish I could meet every frustration that rises within me this way, but that was not me the night I got to speak with the most amazing customer service person I have ever met. 

  Imagine seeing red, everything you touch fuels the proverbial fire.  You realize you are going off the rails and you keep going. You see your mind racing fueling the frustration and anger that comes when someone you love breaks a promise.  You are letting go of logic.  You know nothing good will come from lashing out, but you do not care.  You are going to do everything humanly possible to confront that person.  Your compassion is gone.   

  Still, even in this state you know that this is not you.   You are that place of peace that prevails within you no matter what chaos the world may bring because you know everything is a gift.  So you take your breaths and try to center because you are losing your grip.  Then poof, you are given that one more thing that brings you past the point of overwhelmed to needing help. 

  My point arrives at 11:00 pm during our second or is it our third February blizzard.  There I am using all of my rage to shovel a 2 foot wall of snow when it hits me.  Nothing good can come from what I am about to do so I start breathing.   I want to let go of anger and frustration, but my entire focus is on getting to my nephew and now I can’t.  My car in her infinite wisdom locks the doors while it is running.  

  The snow is coming down at blizzard speeds, and my car decides to lock me out.   I am at an emotional boil and now I need Triple A (AAA).  Here I am anger and frustration coursing through my veins and I can’t get in my car.  I pick up the phone, explain my situation, and realize if someone gave me my tone with my attitude I would not want to help.  I do not realize I am speaking with one of the best customer service representatives I will ever meet.  I just wish I knew her name. 

  Here I am beyond frustration, beyond anger, and this person at AAA only hears a woman in need of help.  My tone, attitude, anger, and frustration go right by her.  She hears my frustration for what it is: a call for help and she moves me to the front of her line telling me she is making me a priority call.  I do not deserve her kindness. 

  This woman hears my frustration and anger for what it is: suffering and she uses all of her power to relieve it.  She is the definition of compassion.  She opens my eyes.  I see beyond my anger beyond my frustration and realize I am in pain.  She helps me see I am human, I am in pain and I need kindness.  She helps me find the gift frustration and anger can bring.

  Every time you hear frustration and anger for the pain that they are you give your families a moment to connect with who they really are.  You may be the one person in their blizzard of grief that can help them see: they are human, they are in pain, and they can rely on the compassion of others.  Your kindness is part of what helps your families heal.