Writing about how the Holidays are the most difficult time of year for the families you serve seems redundant. You know that. We all know that this is one of the most difficult times of year for those we serve. The problem is that knowing something and feeling it are worlds apart. This year the families you serve, your families, are feeling it!
Your families feel every bit of pain as their hearts rip open when they realize the people they love are no longer here to celebrate with them. Even when they find their smiles and feel the joy this season can bring their hearts will return to the pain that can only come from grief and there is no escape. Wherever they go the cheer of this season is front and center. Everyone welcomes joy very few people welcome someone else’s pain, and I believe fewer still can welcome someone’s pain of grief and help make it better.
To be blunt: This is one of the most difficult times of year for your families because the one they love is now the reason you are their family’s funeral director, cemetery manager or after care provider. The question is: what are you doing to help those you serve grow what just might be the slimmest sliver of joy into something that allows them to celebrate the love they have for the person that is no longer here?
What are you doing to help your families realize it is only the person that is gone…the one the family loves is forever a part of their lives because that love is forever a part of their heart. How are you helping the people you serve recognize and hopefully celebrate that love?
If you are like some of the funeral directors I met in Nashville at the NFDA convention your honest answer is that you are doing nothing for the families you serve this holiday season. There is no memorial service for your community at your funeral home or cemetery. You do not participate in the bereavement outreach that your local hospices, hospitals, or community organizations provide to the families they serve. The families you serve will not receive a simple card to acknowledge this season and let them know that you are there for them.
Is it because you know that this season is so hard and you do not want to be the one who brings up their grief? If you are like the one funeral director I spoke with in Nashville your answer is yes. You choose not to reach out to the families you serve because you do not want to bring up what might make this season even more difficult. To you I will say what I said to this man and what our family communicates to every family that asks us: is it too soon, too much, or too painful to give Merry Christmas From Heaven?
There is no way you can make this season more painful for the families you serve. The pain is there. They feel it. You know it. Please be one of the people on this planet that welcomes those that are grieving. Find a way to reach out to the families you serve today. It is not too late. You may not be able to do everything, but you can do something. I look forward to your thoughts. Please give me a ring at 781-331-5308, email me at Kristan@mooneytunco.com or join in the conversation at www.nomispublications.com/blog.aspx.