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Page A4 SEPTEMBER 2017 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS S ec t i on A
By Nancy Weil
Equal, But
Different
Working with the bereaved I have witnessed the differ-
ences in how each person handles the death of a loved
one. While the universal experience consists of the ab-
sence of someone we love and our heart aching when we
face life without them, there is a truth that each loss is
unique. Whenever I run a grief support group I remind
the members that we don’t get to rank pain. Just because
you perceive someone’s loss to be “worse” than yours,
does not mean that you are not entitled to your own
pain. In other words: No one feels better because some-
one feels worse. I have seen that occur when a gentleman
attended my support group the same day he buried his
wife. I have seen it when a parent comes who has experi-
enced the death of their child. Suicide, homicide, young
people, accidents, deaths that come close together…each
situation creates an emotion within the members of the
group as they hear the story. In some ways they may feel
it diminishes their right to grieve the loss of their spouse
who lived 89 years on this earth. The circumstances don’t
make a difference to the one who is grieving; the heart
only knows what it wants and cannot have.
Random
Musings
Recently I was invited to speak at a conference for
a unique type of grief that I had not much consid-
ered. It was a Twinless Twins conference. Not being
a twin I had not considered how different this loss is
versus the loss of a sibling (again no comparisons of
depth of grief, just acknowledging that the situation
differs). Here is a person who has been with you since
before you were born. You share the same birthdays.
You have a confidant to turn to and a shared life expe-
rience. There is a bond between twins that is not found
in any other type of relationship. Now consider what
happens when one part of that “whole” is gone. The
remaining twin finds little understanding from those
around them. People don’t “get it.”
And then they gather together with other Twinless
Twins and they have found their tribe. Each story dif-
fers, but the depth of loss and how it impacts them is
understood. There is empathy rather than sympathy in
the room. Hugs are liberally shared. Tears flow. Laughter
erupts. The room comes alive with stories and sharing.
They know how awful birthdays become. They get how
difficult it is to be seen as a set and now be solo.
People attended from across the country. One gentle-
man flew in from Hawaii. Another came in from Aus-
tralia. He said that he came across the group in a Google
search and knew immediately he had to attend. He was
right. He found what he was looking for – a new family
of sorts. A support network that followed him home.
Working in the funeral care industry we work with peo-
ple every day who are mourning the loss of a loved one. It
is important that we have a file of resources and informa-
tion to offer. At the NFDA convention in Boston I will
be sharing my grief support program ideas and can help
you get started or enhance the program you already have.
In the meantime, cut this article out, write down the
following information and let your staff know that
there is an organization that helps twins following the
loss of their sibling: .
WithcertificationsasaGriefServicesProviderandGriefManagement
Specialist, Funeral Celebrant, as well as Laughter Leader, Nancy Weil
is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet
the needs of the families you serve. A professional speaker, Nancy
travels the country bringing effective tools to reduce stress, combat
compassion fatigue and handle grief to companies, associations and
conferences large and small. With a passionate interest in the healing
qualities of laughter, she is known for her energetic, entertaining and
content rich programs. In addition to talks geared to the general
public, she has also been brought in by funeral directors to offer
(CEU) programs to funeral staff, nurses, chaplains and social work-
ers in their communities.
Nancy has developed the most comprehensive aftercare program
of any cemetery or funeral home in the country and is currently di-
recting aftercare programs, community outreach and marketing at
Veterans Funeral Care. She consults with industry professionals in
how they can develop or grow their own grief support program in
order to maintain contact with the families they serve and develop
stronger relationships within their community.
Her book, If Stress Doesn’t Kill You, Your Family Might, is filled with
tools that work to reduce stress and find your “inner happy.” For
more information on how Nancy can help you and your business
grow, visit her website: or by email at:
.
Funeral Home & Cemetery News
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NFDA Cremation and Burial Report Shows Rate of
Cremation at All-time High
BROOKFIELD,WI— The rate of cremation in the United
States is at an all-time high and surpassed the rate of buri-
al for the second year in a row according to the Nation-
al Funeral Directors Association’s (NFDA) 2017 Cre-
mation and Burial Report. The annual report found that
50.2 percent of Americans chose cremation in 2016, up
from 48.5 percent in 2015, while 43.5 percent of Ameri-
cans opted for burial, down from 45.4 percent in 2015.
NFDA expects the trend shifting from burial toward
cremation to continue over the next 20 years, with the
projected rate of cremation reaching 78.8 percent of
deaths by 2035. Over the next eight years, cremation
rates will likely exceed 50 percent in 44 states, up from
just 16 states in 2010. Simultaneously, the rate of buri-
al is expected to decline from 45.2 percent in 2015 to
30.3 percent over the next eight years.
“The rate of cremation is projected to continue to
rise as more Americans choose cremation,” says NFDA
president W. Ashley Cozine, MBA, CFSP, CPC,
CCO. “This shift has prompted many funeral homes
to expand their service offerings to meet the emerging
needs of consumers who prefer cremation.”
Many consumers are still unaware of the full spec-
trum of choices available for end-of-life services. In
2015, 32 percent of people who were cremated had
no funeral or memorial service; 37 percent had a me-
morial service; and 31 percent had a full funeral in-
cluding viewing.
However, many consumers are not aware that cre-
mation can be accompanied by a memorial service
or viewing. Less than half of Americans associate cre-
mation with a memorial service, and just 11.8 per-
cent associate cremation with a funeral that includes
a viewing. Over half of Americans (52.2 percent) are
not aware that, as part of a funeral with cremation,
they can view a body that has been prepared but is
not embalmed.
“Our role as a funeral director is to help make sure
families understand all of the available options and
commemorate the life of their loved one in a mean-
ingful way regardless of whether they choose burial or
cremation,” said Cozine.
Several factors contribute to the changing rate of cre-
mation and burial in the United States including:
Religion: Non-religious Americans are the most like-
ly to consider cremation for family and friends (23
percent in 2015). In fact, since 2012, the percent of
Americans who feel it is very important to have reli-
gion as part of a funeral has decreased from 49.5 per-
cent to 39.5 percent.
Age: The aging of the American population has a di-
rect impact on the funeral profession. In 2011, the
Baby Boomer generation began turning 65, and by
2030, all Boomers will be age 65 and older. Individ-
uals between the ages of 65 and 79 account for 27.7
percent of funeral service marketplace, and individuals
80 and older account for 46.1 percent of the market-
place. Individuals 80 years old and older are less likely
to be cremated and more likely to opt for burial.
The statistical projections contained in the 2017
NFDA Cremation and Burial Report was compiled by
the University of Wisconsin-Madison Applied Popula-
tion Laboratory Department of Community and En-
vironmental Sociology. State-level deaths by method
of disposition data were collected from state vital sta-
tistics departments or similar state regulatory agencies
for the years 2002-15. Other findings presented in the
report are from proprietary NFDA research studies,
such as the 2017 Annual NFDA Consumer Awareness
and Preferences Study. For more information, contact
800-228-6332 or visit .
In response to this
changing consumer pref-
erence, many funeral
homes have opened cre-
matories to meet the de-
mands of Americans.
Now, almost 30 percent
of funeral homes in the
United States operate
their own crematories
and another 9.4 percent
intend to open a crema-
tory within the next five
years.
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