December 2020

Page A8 DECEMBER 2020 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A By Linda Findlay Aftercare never find these things? I think I actually swore to myself that this will never happen again! I will be more mindful. I will be more careful! How could I have prevented this? If I take each of these responses and apply them to grief ex- perienced from the loss of a loved one to death – each one ap- plies! Not believing that my purse or money could possibly be gone – disbelief and shock! Questions of how, why, when! All of the what if’s , could or should haves ? What was in my purse, how much money did I have on me! Taking inventory of what was lost and its significance! I was angry at myself! Anger, guilt, sadness . I was really sad about losing $300! Will I ever find what I had lost? How do you go on after a loved one dies? What won’t I have if I don’t find my purse or my money? How will my life change because of my loss? Finally, look at all the work that is involved with losing a purse or a wallet! Grief is work! After we experience the loss of a loved one, we are acutely aware of the loss. As a matter of fact, our feelings and expres- sions of loss can last a very long time, if not a lifetime! Here in lays the big difference in comparing the loss of a loved one to any of these other loses, including the loss of a beloved pet. There are people who lose their beloved pets and yes, that if very difficult. Some people think of their pets as their chil- dren. I honor that and always give the space for providing sup- port, understanding and any resources that might be helpful. While all loss is deserving of attention and support, losing a loved one to death goes deep and wide for a long time! The pain of loss can be felt years later. There will be times that can feel as though it was just yesterday! The memory of the pain of grief is never forgotten. All of these other losses do not reach these depths! I am including this topic in this article because I have seen so In recent issues I have talked about the different losses. I wanted to highlight some of the common reactions and ex- pressions of grief related to the specific loss. There are many common expressions of grief that the bereaved may expe- rience, regardless of the type of loss or manner of death. I think it is important to spend a few minutes on sharing my thoughts about how people tend to compare their losses that are not related to the loss of a loved one to death. There are many losses that we experience in life. We lose jobs, friend- ships, marriages, homes, personal belongings, our most be- loved pets and we lose our wallets, purses and keys! Whenever we experience a loss, it is said that we will grieve that loss. I get that. Grief is a natural reaction to loss! I com- pare it to holding my arm over a candle while reaching for something. As soon as I feel the heat of that flame, I auto- matically move my arm away from the candle! It did not re- quire any thought. I just moved my arm as quickly as possi- ble! Moving my armwas a natural reaction to the experience of feeling the heat and the possibility of getting burned! I have lost my purse. I have lost money – $300 just gone! My immediate response was, “Did I really lose that, have I just misplaced them?” – where, how, when? Once I real- ized it was missing, I was a bit angry at myself for having actually lost it somewhere. In no time at all, I started to take an inventory of exactly what was in that purse! How much money did I have on me?Where and who did I need to call to cancel credit cards? How do I retrace my steps? I felt that dread of wow, are these things lost for good? Will I find them? In the midst of trying to figure it out, would I Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and manag- ing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.nomispublications.com Monthly Columns online at many online support groups popping up that list them- selves as being appropriate for the loss of ANYTHING! They actually go on to list every loss you can imagine! I must admit, I have not seen the loss of a purse or money included. My point is, we have to be very careful when we pro- vide support to grieving families when it comes to what types of loss you will provide support for. A final word on the loss of a pet, the loss of a pet is big business for some funeral homes. It is a great service that is valuable and very much needed. Support for families who experience the loss of a pet is very much appropri- ate and should be included in what you offer for families. We just can’t create situations where we mix it in with the loss of a loved one to death! Grief is an intricate collection of responses and reac- tions! Grief is felt, emotionally, physically, cognitively or spiritually – for so much longer than most people could imagine! This is the fourth in a series of articles that speak to the different losses that families experience. I feel that it is important to be reminded of the specific aspects of each loss that a family may experience so we can better serve their needs. Windows Into Loss E xpressions of G rief www. vischerfuneralsupplies.com Funeral Directors Research,Inc. AMRA INSTRUMENT, LLC 623 N. Tower (P.O. 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As you create or revisit your overall succession plan, consider these five ele- ments below. 1. Be able to tell your story.  You may think that the target business’s financial summary is the most important itemwhen you are looking to purchase. It’s not. Lenders like Live Oak Bank want to hear about your track record leading up to this purchase, your business plan and your transition plan. What’s your motivation? If you can articulate your “why”—what gets you out of bed each day, where your passions lie and what drives you—this bolsters your overall story. 2. Understand your personal financial health. Many small businesses face a common challenge—having enough cash to carry the company through a downturn or recession. Your liquidity plays an integral part in this. While your personal financial statement (PFS) has always been im- portant to the bank, your PFS is even more significant in tell- 3. Know your COVID story. Prepare a transparent write-up on how the pandemic has impacted the business and how you could mitigate the chal- lenges. Don’t avoid the topic—instead, address it head-on and be honest and accurate. Prepare projections to show a visual of your post-COVID plans. This preparation indi- cates that you have a plan in place and understand that your business may have to pivot due to the pandemic. Addition- ally, understand your market share and how competitors have been impacted – you may be the only source of this informa- tion for the buyer and the bank. 4. Know your real estate value. It is crucial to understand your real estate value and how it impacts each loan option differently. With an SBA loan, it determines the length of your buyer’s loan term. However, with traditional commercial real estate mortgage loans, it de- termines the amount of financing you will receive, assuming cash flow is not an issue. Overstating your real estate value could overstate the amount of financing your business can support and leave you with a big surprise. 5. It’s never too early to plan. Begin planning for your succession regardless if you are looking to sell in the next three years, or fifteen years. Succes- sion planning will provide a roadmap for your financial strat- egy; it will help establish operating cash flow goals, expense margin goals and establish your financial retirement plan. While COVID-19 has created so many unknowns for small businesses, control what you can by creating or revising a plan to ensure your business survives for generations to come. As we continue to navigate this new world we’re living in, the urgency and need for creating a succession plan is apparent. Know that these plans are fully customizable and can evolve as your business evolves – but it’s critical to plan now in order to ensure the stability and the long-term success of your business. Live Oak offers loans and financial solutions nationwide for fu- neral and cemetery owners. Their team of industry experts fully understands the nuances of your specific business model. Beyond the traditional banking experience, they strive to be an asset to each one of their customers by turning obstacles into opportu- nities. Their dedication to efficiency, collaboration and in-depth knowledge of the funeral profession will take you where you need to go. Let their team confidently guide you through the lending process and craft a unique plan that will help you and your busi- ness thrive. Learn more at liveoakbank.com/funeral-home-loans. ing a story in the wake of the pandemic. Your lender will need to assess your PFS and will focus on these areas: • How much cash is on hand? • Is there a visible sign of discipline to save? • What’s in your retirement accounts and other liquid investments? • Have you built equity in other places? Your credit report carries weight too. It goes beyond your credit score and is more about your discipline. Do you place a priority on debt obligations, and do you have a prior history with late pays and collections? All of these considerations make up your character profile. L i k e Us On Facebook!