December 2020

Page A20 DECEMBER 2020 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Big Boys Do Cry! You can also share the following link to books, blogs and resources designed to help every widower to find answers and support: https://www.fredcolby.com/ marriages have brought together two sets of chil- dren, siblings, parents and grandparents. Bonding these two groups together over the years may not have occurred, so these bonds may be easily broken. Too often I hear from widowers who have been abandoned by their children and relatives, especial- ly those of merged families. And often these can de- volve into outright hostilities and attempts to steal what remaining resources the widower has left. Men in particular have a hard time with this as they may not be used to turning to others to ask for help. So what can we do to help these widowers? Here are some suggestions: • Be alert to issues emerging between family mem- bers • Offer a comforting and safe place for the widower to express their fears and concerns • Personally share area resources with them that might help them to survive the grief and challeng- es ahead, such as area grief groups, grief counsel- ors, and online support groups • Alert the authorities if you feel a widower is be- ing abused or taken advantage of by those around him • Give them a free copy of Fred Colby’s Widower to Widower or Herb Knoll’s The Widower’s Journey . Herb Knoll Working With Widowers Fred Colby By Fred Colby, Author Nothing can be more disconcerting for sons and daughters than to see their father cry, especially full out sobbing! Friends, family, workmates and children can often become fearful and at a total loss as to how to respond when a widower breaks down in tears. Those of us in the business of serving those who have lost loved ones may have become too used to this expression of grief and our responses may have become too rote. We may not see how pain- ful and disruptive to relationships this transfor- mation might be for both the widower and their family or friends. Most often these family and friends are grieving too, but they may still have trouble relating to the deep grief the widower feels. This grieving is made all the more traumatic because men are not used to expressing their sorrow, fear, and emotional re- sponses. Now all of a sudden it is pouring out of them unfettered. Children are used to seeing their Dad as a strong and stable figure during past family crisis’ so to now see them broken down in their grief and un- able to help themselves can be very scary. Often this reaction paired together with pre-ex- isting family issues can cause destructive changes in relationships which cannot be repaired. This is particularly true of merged families where second Losing a loved one was not something new to Fred Colby. However, the death of his father and stepfather at a young age did not prepare Fred for the pain and emotional turmoil he suf- fered when his wife of 42 years, Theresa, died after a yearlong bout with uterine cancer. His therapist challenged him to put his grief and lessons-learned into words to help others going through the same hell-on-earth experience. Though he has ex- tensive professional writing experience, Widower to Widower is his first book. For more information, go to www.fredcolby.com. FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.nomispublications.com Monthly Columns online at swers took him to group meetings, individual counseling sessions, writings by fellow widowers, and discussions resulting from hap- penstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey. Special Offer: 6 books for $59.94! Visit https://www.fredcolby.com/buy-books/order- 6-pak-for-groups Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship Fred Colby's first book blends blogs he wrote be - fore, during and after his wife's passing, togeth- er with his research, observations, and experienc- es during the first year of grieving her loss. The book is in part a result of his frustration with the lack of other in-depth or quality materials avail- able to help fellow widowers. His search for an- XL industries inc. Call: 406-449-4100 • Visit: www.XLIndustries.com Available Through Quality Suppliers Made in USA It’s time to upgrade your Display Stands! Providing the Best-Designed Tools for Your Services Since 1926. Dozens of products that give you years of service and store compactly when not in use. Lightweight and easy to take to gravesides or churches. Portable Folding Display Table Basic Gold Stands Nesting Stands Wall Channel with Shelf Chuck Segal (center) at the 1986 dedication pictured with lead- ers and rabbis of the Tampa Jewish community Continued from Front Page Segal Funeral Home Chuck will maintain his leadership role at Segal Fu- neral Home in the years ahead. His skill and expe- rience in this area is well tracked, beginning at a young age. He began work- ing as an attendant at Kraeer Funeral Home in Boca Ra- ton at age 16. Throughout college, he worked at the Van Orsdel Mortuary in Miami and served his internship at Beth Israel Memorial Cha- pel in Delray Beach. A Flor- ida licensed funeral director and embalmer, he received his national board certifica- tion from the Conference of Funeral Service Examining Boards in 1982. Segal Funeral Home was established in May of 1986 as Beth David Chapel and was owned and operated by Chuck, who was only 23 years old at the time. He knew he found a home in the community, which embraced his concept of personalized service and accountability. In the early 90’s, Chuck regrettably sold the funeral home and Beth David Chapel to an industry acquisition firm. While this seemed to be an emerging trend at the time, Chuck only took a brief break from working in the industry before returning as a manager. He continued to serve who he considered “his” families for the next seven years before the opportunity arose to buy his company back in 2004. On October 29, 2004 - nearly ten years to the day of selling Beth David Chapel - Chuck’s purchase of the property was final- ized. The funeral home and chapel were once again family owned and operated. Since returning to the Segal Funeral Home, Chuck has ensured accountability and per- sonalized service along with maintaining a dignified and compassionate facility for the entire community. This type of commit- ment will remain under Epstein’s ownership with Chuck’s continued attention to detail in his management style. The Epstein family owns and operates the Hodroff-Epstein Funeral Home, which be- gan as the Aaron-Hodroff and Sons Fu- neral Home over 90 years ago in St. Paul. The funeral home was founded by Abe Ho- droff and run alongside his sons, Leo and William, and the Aaron family. The home was moved to several locations and owned by two different families prior to being pur- chased by the Epteins in June of 2004. Henry Epstein worked at Hodroff’s fu- neral home upon graduating with a degree in mortuary science from the University of Minnesota in 1968 and has remained in the funeral industry since. In 2000, Hen- ry’s son Michael, a licensed funeral direc- tor, joined his father’s business. In 2014, Henry’s daughter Teri Bretz also joined the family business as a licensed funeral director after practicing periodontology for a decade. Serving as a funeral home owner and di- rector for over 30 years, Chuck has an ex- tensive background in the Jewish traditions of burial and mourning. He speaks to all age groups concerning the upkeep of these traditions and the challenges involved in maintaining them in today’s contempo- rary society. He and his wife, Shelly, have served and will continue to serve the com- munity in their time of need. Your Real Source. Anywhere. Anytime.