July 2021

Page A20 JULY 2021 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A do this alone. Encourage them to see a counselor and talk through the big decisions before they leap and are stuck with the results. ical expenses, or long-term care costs. Some may have left financial planning to their wives, and not know where to find the checkbook or investment account informa- tion. This can make the task seem overwhelming and lead to inertia or poor decisions made in haste. Family demands for distributions may also put tremen- dous emotional pressure on a widower at a time when he is ill-equipped mentally to deal with these requests. He may be tempted to give it all away and forget about his own needs. This in turn can lead to future financial insolvency. This brings me to an important piece of advice we all have heard repeatedly: WAIT AT LEAST A YEAR BE- FORE MAKING ANY MAJOR DECISIONS. This applies to selling their house, marrying again, leav- ing their job, and distributing their assets. I know of many widowers who ignored this advice and paid a heavy price for it, diminishing their quality of life going forward. Sometimes we have no choice and must make these de- cisions before a year is up. But even then, they can still say, “Time out, I am going to take a little extra time to make this decision. You will just have to wait.” If oth- ers are putting heavy pressure on a widower, that is prob- ably an indicator that they should not give in and make an immediate decision. When it comes to finances and re-marrying, widow- ers need to be careful to allow time to explore all op- tions. They need to wait until they feel that their head is on right and capable of making good decisions. I know there was a time in my deep grieving where I did not feel capable of this. Whatever they do, they should not Financial Land Mines When a widower meets with you to make funeral ar- rangements for his deceased wife, he may have no idea of what he can afford, how he will pay, or if his wife had any specific provisions. He may feel lost mentally, emotional- ly… and financially. How do you help him through this? Sharing stories like the following can help. My father died when he was 33 years of age, so I re- alized the importance of getting my finances in or- der while still young. I bought life insurance, started an IRA investment account, and wrote a will. During 2008 – 2012 I was sure that I was going to die soon due to a rapidly spreading skin cancer. So, I doubled down on making sure my affairs were in order so my wife could survive comfortably after my death. Then sud- denly I was healed in 2012. We both suspected that my health record was a sure indicator that I would go first. But in 2015 my wife passed due to uterine cancer. I was so shocked and upset over her early demise that I did not think about finances for a while. Eventually I came out of deep grieving and realized that every- thing about our finances had been structured for her survival, not mine. She had no life insurance pol- icy, her IRA was small, and I had given little thought to what I would do without her. After getting my wife’s death certificate I began the te- dious task of changing everything over to my name, in- cluding bank accounts, investment accounts, property deeds, automobiles, charge accounts, and much more. It took almost a year to find and change everything. Many widowers face loss of spousal income, huge med- By Fred Colby Working With Widowers Fred Colby has served as a director, board member and con- sultant for nonprofit organizations in California and Colorado. After his wife, Theresa, died in 2015 Fred shifted his focus to writ- ing and leadership roles to help his fellow widowers heal and re-engage with life. He co-founded the Pathways Hospice Men’s Grief Group and an online grief group. He resides in Ft. Collins, Colorado. For more information go to: www.fredcolby.com. To see what others are saying about W idower to W idower go to https://www.fredcolby.com/media Special Offer — 6 Books for $54.94 https://www.fredcolby.com/buy-books/order- 6-pak-for-groups w w w . F r e d C o l b y . c o m Fred Colby’s new 2nd edition blends his own story with research, observations, and experiences during the first year of grieving the loss of his wife, plus what he learned after his first edition was printed. The book is in part a result of his frus- tration with the lack of other in-depth or W idower to W idower Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship N ew S econd E dition quality materials available to help fellow widowers. His search for answers took him to group meetings, individual counseling ses - sions, writings by fellow widowers, and discussions resulting from happenstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey. www. vischerfuneralsupplies.com THE ULTIMATE 1000 LIFT™ & THE STEPPER Solo Transfer in the prep room and on removals Electrically lifts and lowers on stairs! PATENT PENDING SAVE YOUR BACK 1-800-628-8809 WWW .MORTUARYLIFT. COM � � � StoneMor Inc. Reports 2021 First Quarter Financial Results The Growth of Women in the Funeral Industry Mitchell with the LoadAlone ™ ing her own funeral home was a LoadAlone™. She and her staff use LoadAlone™ when doing removals and transport- ing the deceased to the crematory. LoadAlone™ is an automated mortuary cargo system that enables her to load a stretcher or a casket or a crema- tion box into her removal vehicle without lifting. Sim- ply by pushing a remote-control button the stretcher or casket or cremation box are loaded into the vehicle and, when she reaches her destination whether it is the crema- tory or funeral home, the same remote control allows her to unload without lifting. Mitchell says, “LoadAlone™ is amazing, I love it. It saves our backs, our arms, it saves our bodies. I can load a per- son alone. It saves me time and it saves me money. I no longer need to send additional staff for a large removal. I personally have done a removal of over 400 pounds. The tow board that comes with LoadAlone™ is such a big help when transporting to the crematory. It makes life easier. I highly recommend LoadAlone™ to every funeral home.” When asked what advice she had for women wanting to enter the industry, Mitchell said, “don’t give up on your dreams, don’t get discouraged by obstacles and get a LoadAlone™.” See Mitchell in action with LoadAlone™ at https://youtu.be/I6KKGzyn2zA. LoadAlone™ was invented by funeral director, David Murphy, a NYSFD and NFDA member. The loading sys- tem fits most standard SUVs, vans, and hearses. It is easi- ly installed and removed whenever necessary. Learn more at www.loadalone.com , email david@loadalone.com or call 585-330-5772 . NEWARK,NY— Bob Dylan once wrote a song “The Times They Are A-Changin. ” Nowhere is that truer than in the funeral industry. What was once an “old boys” net- work is no longer. In 1970 only about 5 percent of all graduates of funeral programs were women. In 2017, ac- cording to the American Board of Funeral Services Edu- cation, nearly 65 percent of all graduates were women and that number is only growing. 20-year industry veteran Sara Mitchell owns Corey Funeral Home in Evart, MI. Sara worked for 19 years at Daggett Funeral Home in Barryton, MI before moving to Evart and buying her own funeral home. Her previous employer was the first woman owned, operated and man- aged funeral home in the state of Michigan. Mitchell was drawn to the industry because she liked the idea of helping people in their most trying time of life. She is not only a licensed funeral director, but be- cause she felt that reconstructing the deceased and get- ting them from the current condition that they are in, to a place that the loved ones can see them as they were at a healthier time, she is a licensed embalmer. When Mitchell decided to become a funeral director there were not as many women in the industry and she remem- bers that one of the biggest obstacles she faced was having people believe in her and see that she could do everything as well because she was new and a woman. Today she fac- es different obstacles, the same ones that women across all industries face, that of bal- ancing family and a career. Mitchell feels blessed to have been able to raise her children within the funeral home which has helped her maintain that balance. A big difference between men and women within the industry, according to Sara, is that she feels women are more attentive because they are more nurturing. This plus the pioneering efforts of women, like Sara Mitch- ell, have created an atmo- sphere of more acceptance of women and therefore creates more opportuni- ties. Women are no longer looked upon as solely a grief counselor but can per- form all tasks that were pre- viously done by men. Women, such as Mitchell, do everything from removals, embalm- ing and arrange- ments to consoling grieving families. Many men still feel that women can’t do the lifting or shouldn’t be around the chemicals that are used while em- balming. Mitchell, along with many other women, have proved them wrong. Mitchell is also a smart business- woman. She believes in working smart- er. One of her early purchases upon buy- B E N S A L E M , PA — StoneMor Inc. (NYSE: STON) reported operat- ing and financial results for the first quarter end- ed March 31, 2021. JoeRedling , StoneMor’s President and Chief Ex- ecutive Officer said, “the first quarter of 2021 has continued to build upon the groundwork that was laid with our transforma- tion initiatives. We con- tinue to deliver strong sales results, including 45% growth in cemetery sales production in the quarter.” StoneMor Inc. is an owner and operator of cemeteries and funer- al homes in the United States, with 304 cem- eteries and 70 funeral homes in 24 states and Puerto Rico. For addi- tional information and full reports, please visit StoneMor’s website, and the investors section, at http://www.stonemor.com.