Page A8 MAY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A By Linda Findlay alone the grief that they are living with. Back to my statement that families do not know what aftercare is, so they do not know what they are not receiving. Does it matter? I think it does. Do I think that money spent is better used elsewhere? Yes, I do. Should non grief specific communications be included? Yes, if they are only one piece of the outreach. Some of the things that a funeral director tells me are part of their aftercare program cause me to have a visceral reaction – as badly as when yet another person talks about the stages of grief! But be that as it may, I guess it is better than nothing, and as I have acknowledged, families love some of these communications. Preplanning is in and of itself an essential pillar of funeral service. It is not aftercare. It offers no grief support. Is it vitally necessary to provide preplanning options? I do not know of a single funeral home who does not! There could be someone out there, but, I have not run across one. If preneed information is included in the communication that you provide to families for grief support, that is perfect! When I have provided aftercare to families, and then provide a preplanning brochure, they see that preplanning brochure as more information, they do not see it as trying to sell them anything. I can promise you that this is the truest statement I can ever make! Yes, you can provide aftercare as a way to generate preneed leads. It must be done tastefully. Providing such a valuable extension of service through aftercare, and including preneed options is perfectly okay. Aftercare can be a bridge to preneed leads. As it should be, if done right. Some of my funeral service friends do not agree with aftercare being used to generate preneed lead, sometimes, I cannot believe I say that myself, being the aftercare person. It can be a fine line and one that should be carefully reviewed and considered. Done correctly, in a timely manner, aftercare and preneed are like a peanut butter cup! The chocolate and the peanut butter go so well together. (I did steal the peanut butter cup analogy from a preplanning counselor who I knew many years ago! I am sure it would be fine to share that here.) Are there challenges and obstacles with implementing an aftercare program? Yes, there are many. I will save that subject for another article. I am confident that every single funeral home can find a solution that meets with the requirements to be considered “aftercare.” It really is not that difficult or costly! It does require some time and a bit of planning. My definition of aftercare is as follows: Aftercare services are any services or outreach efforts that provide continued grief support through a variety of grief related material, education, and opportunity to express and share grief experiences and fosters a message of hope and healing. Does what you are “doing” for aftercare fit within this definition? I was having a really enjoyable conversation with a funeral director about serving families, until the funeral director told me that preplanning is aftercare. She said that she felt that it was up to the funeral director to offer options for families. I totally agree that families should be offered options. But, when I think of options, I think of caskets and urns, calling hours and visitation, burial, or cremation et cetera…and yes, preplanning. But aftercare? I do not think the average person knows what aftercare is. Aftercare should not be offered as an option, rather it should be provided to all families. On many phone calls or visits with families I am asked about how I fit in with the funeral home and what my role is. Sometimes I say that I am an aftercare coordinator for the funeral home, but mostly, I tell families that my role is to support them during the months ahead and to provide them with the support that they may need following the loss of their loved one. I outline how I will be following up with them and how I can support them. All of this is to say, I want to share my definition of aftercare! I must start with what I think aftercare is not. In sharing what aftercare is not, I do so with profound respect for any effort to communicate with families after their loss. Not all efforts to communicate with families can be considered aftercare if they do not include support and information about grief. Whether it is a post on social media or a year of mailings to families, aftercare will include this information. Some communications are a nice gesture and families appreciate the remembrances, but they offer nothing in the line of grief support. Acknowledging an anniversary of the death or a special day is well received by families. Nobody is even mentioning their lost loved one, let Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Back to Basics Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 Large variety of styles, sizes and colors www.PremiumQualityUmbrellas.com Umbrellas for every budget Free Artwork & Free Proof Free Setup & Free Shipping Contact Kristie Directly (239) 471-7888 Kristie@PremiumQualityUmbrellas.com Lakewood Concert Series Music in the Chapel Returns variety of local musicians from vocal groups like The Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus to the acoustic duo Siama’s Congo Roots, along with folk, classical, and jazz artists. The Lakewood Memorial Chapel, listed on the National Register of Historic Places, was built in 1910 and designed by renowned architect Harry Wild Jones. It offers an intimate setting for up to 160 guests, along with an aweinspiring interior of more than 10 million mosaic tiles. These tiles, called tesserae, were crafted by European artisans who came to Lakewood directly from completing a project in the Vatican. “Lakewood’s Memorial Chapel is an extraordinary place to enjoy the magic of live music,” says Lakewood’s president, Chris Makowske. “Music in the Chapel concerts have been very popular. They often sold out prior to the pandemic. We’re excited to be able to bring this series back so people can experience our chapel in all its glory.” Lakewood is a serene haven in the heart of Minneapolis’s renowned Chain of Lakes—a place to come together to honor, remember and reflect. Since 1871, Lakewood’s 250 acres of urban memorial parkland have served as a community gathering place and a chronicle of our region’s traditions, cultures and people. A history keeper and a thought leader, Lakewood honors its roots as a landmark cemetery while reimaging its role in modern life, through thoughtfully designed events, experiences and spaces. Lakewood is making memorialization more relevant, accessible and inviting for new audiences and generations—with more creativity and choices. As a nonprofit organization governed by a board of trustees, Lakewood is committed to preserving and enhancing our grounds and architectural treasures, and they use proceeds generated from activities and events for that purpose. MINNEAPOLIS,MN— Lakewood Cemetery, located in Uptown Minneapolis, welcomes back its popular Music in the Chapel concert series. The series, created in 2018 but put on hold during the pandemic, was designed to showcase local musicians and shine a spotlight on Lakewood’s stunning historic chapel. The series kicked off on April 3 with returning artist David Huckfelt, of the cult-loved folk-rock band The Pines, and Annie Humphrey, an Anishinaabe singer/song writer. Concerts run monthly on Sunday afternoons from 3pm to 4pm and feature a @Nomi s .Publ i cat ions Like us on Aftercare
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