January 2021

Page A20 JANUARY 2021 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A www. vischerfuneralsupplies.com Finding New Relevance An Excerpt from The Widower’s Journey your compassion and skills, why not give them a call? Whether it’s doing work for an organization such as the American Red Cross or the American Cancer So- ciety, volunteering to coach a little therapeutic league baseball team, or working on a worthwhile project for your church, you are sure to find doing so to be. And if you are hesitating to volunteer because you don’t believe you have the required skills, think again. Give your favorite not-for-profit a call. You are likely to be warmly received. Make this New Year, the year you re- discover your relevance. ovarian cancer, to which Jeff remarked, “It’s never too early to get the word out on ovarian cancer.” He has ad- dressed many audiences since. I met Jeff when he attended one of my speaking en- gagements. He says: “I came to hear Herb speak because I wanted to educate myself better on how I could learn to help other widowers. We are here for a purpose, to lead, to dance, and love again. No matter what our pur- pose has been in the past, it might be stronger than ever following the loss of a wife. Go out and do some good, make the world better in some way.” After Carl Jahrstorfer lost his wife Patricia, he created a scholarship fund for people who work at the nursing home where he’s employed. It is funded by donations and by the sale of a book titled Walk with Me , authored by his wife. The book (to purchase a copy, see www.xulongpress. com) is a compilation of six months of emails that Patri- cia felt compelled to write while undergoing chemother- apy and surgery for ovarian cancer. It’s a moving collec- tion of personal thoughts, insights, and inspiration. The confidence with which Patricia faced her final days is re- markable. Following Patricia’s passing, Carl finished writ- ing Patricia’s book and arranged for its publishing. Ray Henderson lost his wife in 2005. A resident of North Charleston, SC, Ray was a computer program- mer who was more accustomed to writing code than comforting others. But in 2011, he decided to start volunteering for the Red Cross. From a fire in Myrtle Beach to a ravaged community in Oklahoma, or the devastation left by Hurricane Sandy, Ray was there to offer a helping hand. Ray wanted to help, but he didn’t know how until the Red Cross showed him the way. Men often gain a sense of accomplishment by building things. In Ray’s case, he is rebuilding people’s lives and the communities in which they live. Ninety-six percent of the Red Cross workers are volunteers, so if you think you would be interested in lending a hand as well as Herb Knoll Working With Widowers Fred Colby by Author Herb Knoll Many widowers rush into new relationships to fill the void that exists in their lives. I get that. It’s a quick way to address their loneliness, rebuild a social life, and even handle some everyday challenges they’re confronting. With a new relationship, widowers are no longer half of a whole; they discover a new half to make themselves whole. But let’s look at the issue of our loss from another perspective. Part of your identity of being a husband probably was as a provider, and if your wife had a long illness, you might also have been her caretaker. Such things give us relevance in life, just as our ca- reers or being a father does. The loss of a wife can cause a loss of relevance. In this final section, I’d like to discuss regaining or strengthening your relevance as a part of helping to restore your life. I regained some relevance when I started a not-for-profit, Mi- chelle’s Angels Foundation, Inc., whose purpose is to provide love, hope, compassion, and comforting mu- sic to those who quietly suffer. Professor Deborah Carr of Boston University notes that people often find a new sense of purpose or mis- sion in life after a loved one dies. Their inspiration to do so may come from trying to right the wrong that killed their loved one. Parents of children who die of overdoses dedicate themselves to teaching about the evils of drugs. Widowers whose wives died of breast cancer may walk or run in a breast cancer fundraiser event in her honor and memory. These charitable ac- tivities make us feel connected to something larger than ourselves. After Jeff Gower and his wife Susan learned of her ovarian cancer diagnosis, the two of them dedicat- ed themselves to promoting Ovarian Cancer aware- ness as volunteers. Two months after Susan’s passing in 2005, someone asked Jeff if it was too soon for him to be called upon to speak before an audience about FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS www.nomispublications.com Monthly Columns online at TheWidower’s Journey offers information that can assist the friends and family of a widower as well as women who are dating a widower and who are eager to understand better what the widower has endured. Special Offer: 33% off Six-Packs! Write herb@widowerssupportnetwork.com The Widower’s Journey… Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss Following the death of his wife in 2008, Herb Knoll spent nine years researching the world of widowers, resulting in the release of The Widower’s Journey in 2017, which continues to earn five star reviews. Featuring the sage advice of 40 widowers and 15 sub- ject matter experts, Knoll breaks down barriers that block men during their journeys toward recovery. Herb Knoll is a retired banking executive, an advocate for Widow- ers, a professional speaker, and author of the breakout book, The Widower’s Journey. Herb is the founder of the Widower’s Support Network (WidowersSupportNetwork.com) featuring the Widow- ers Support Network – Members Only, a private Facebook group page for men only, and a second Facebook page which is open to the general public at Widowers Support Network. Herb hosts the Widowers Journey Podcast, available on all podcast hosting ser - vices. Contact at herb@WidowersSupportNetwork.com. Foundation Partners Group Acquires Five Firms from the Brusie Family ORLANDO,FL— Foun- dation Partners Group has announced the acquisition son, Warren Albert Bru- sie, took over the firm in 1970, at just 27 years old after the passing of his fa- ther. Warren Albert Brusie’s children, Marc and Amy, joined him in running the business in the early 1990s and are now third-gener- ation owners. The Brusies purchased Chico Ceme- tery and Bidwell Chapel in 1994 growing their op- erations to four locations. In 2005, they added a fifth location when they pur- chased Affordable Mortu- ary from a retiring com- petitor. Marc’s wife, Janice Brusie, joined the firm as the chief financial Ofoicer in 2000. Marc, Amy, and Janice have all worked to- gether to run the business for the past 20 years. “We almost sold to some- one else in 2016, but it wasn’t the right fit,” said Marc. “Since then, we’ve considered succession planning more seriously and are happy to be join- ing Foundation Partners Group. They were very or- ganized and efficient; and they wanted us to stay on to continue to support our families and the communi- ty. That was a huge bonus for us.” “The Brusie family has built a reputation for pro- viding meaningful oppor- tunities for families to cre- ate healing moments after a loss,” states Jason Widing, vice president of business development at Foundation Partners Group. “We are looking forward to working with them to build on the legacy they have created in the Chico community.” “Despite the pandemic, we are continuing to ex- plore partnerships with pre- mier independent funer- al home, cremation center, and cemetery owners like the Brusies.” added Tom Kominsky, chief financial officer at Foundation Part- ners Group. “Assisting own- ers with their succession planning while offering open and honest advice is what helps set Foundation Partners apart.” Foundation Partners Group owns and operates a network of more than 150 funeral homes, crema- tion centers and cemeteries across 20 states. Visit www. foundationpartners.com to learn more. of five properties in Chico, CA from the Brusie fami- ly. The acquisition includes Brusie Funeral Home, Bidwell Chapel, Afford- able Mortuary, Chico Cem- etery Association, and Glen Oaks Memorial Park. “This acquisition repre- sents our first operations north of San Francisco with five well-established brands providing an excellent plat- form from which to grow,” said Bob Bukala, Founda- tion Partners Group presi- dent and CEO. “The Bru- sie family and team have been dedicated to provid- ing exceptional, compas- sionate care for over 70 years in the Chico commu- nity and the high standard of service they offer meshes well with ours. We are very proud they have chosen to become part of the Founda- tion Partners family and to help us grow our presence in California.” Brusie Funeral Homes and Cemeteries was found- ed in 1942 by Warren Pope Brusie and his wife Helen Brusie. In 1959 they expanded their busi- ness by establishing Glen Oaks Memorial Park. Their S E N D U S Y O U R N E W S ! 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