November 2022

Page A8 November 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Bill and Lizbeth Frenier (left) of Barbara Falowski Funeral and Cremation Services, Inc., Fort Lauderdale, Florida are pictured with John Muster (right) picking out their new hearse. Joe Fraizer (left) and Dan Booze (right) of Rutherford Corbin Funeral Home, Worthington, Ohio, shown picking up their new 2022 Chrysler Pacifica First Call Vehicle from John Muster (center). 1-800-274-3619 . Muster Coaches . Calhoun, Kentucky 585-330-5772 Work Smarter – Not Harder! .com Watch Our V i deos Onl i ne ! Cots. Caskets. Cremation Cases. All You Need is the Remote Control and One Hand! Looking for Extra Revenue? Load Alone is looking for Sales Representatives. Call David at 585-330-5772. Affordable • Automated • Safe Loading and Unloading GLENDALE,CA— Bob Baker Marionette Theater: 60 Years of Joy &Wonder is a retrospective exhibition that examines the beauty and history of a beloved Los Angeles institution. The theater and its founder left an indelible By Linda Findlay Aftercare monthly visits with this lady friend since her daughter died. As I often find, not only was she deeply grieving the loss of her daughter 18 months ago, but she was also still dealing with the loss of her son. She shared that ever since her son died, she spent the last 20 years hoping and praying that she would never lose a second child. It is not uncommon for a bereaved parent to live the rest of their life fearing the loss of another child, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. Having suffered that particular loss, they are all too aware of the reality that it could happen again. For this woman, the tragedy had struck again, confirming her worst nightmare. Do you see the thought process here? I felt the same way after I lost my first daughter. The underlying fear of losing a second child rears its ugly head as it sees fit in my own life – for me over thirty years now! What I know is that a bereaved parent, most times, never “gets over” the loss of a child. They learn to live with the loss, spending the rest of their lives figuring out how to do just that. Do they function and invest in life? Most times they do. But their need for support is always there. Especially if they experience a subsequent loss of any kind! For my lady friend, the value of the support is incalculable! Another example is an elderly gentleman who I have been following up with for 13 months. He lost his wife of 50 years. He has told me kindly that he is good and no longer needs to “take up my time,” at least five times. Each time he has emailed me later and asked to schedule another call. He then spends the first few minutes of our call apologizing for taking up my time. As much as I assure him that I will be there for the long haul, he always seems to worry that he is taking too much time with me. In our latest call, he told me that he never thought he would need support with relationships and his grief journey, as he has a new lady friend! No matter how much time passes following the loss a spouse, if someone new comes into the picture it may cause some worry and deeper thinking. For my gentleman friend, I have found that he is a deep, thorough thinker. He shared that his wife always accused him of “overthinking” everything and he feared he was doing the same about his new lady friend. I told him that he can’t change his way of thinking. When we default to a way of thinking all our lives, why would we change that way of thinking now? For him, thinking things through was how he managed all things in his life, why would that change? This seemed to reassure him that it was okay to do just that. Giving him simple permission to think in the way he needed to, helped him to accept it and work with it! Does he have a long road ahead, with this new relationship? Probably. But, being there to support him is about being there for the long haul. That is a promise that I make to my families, and I will honor it for as long as I am able! I am sure I will continue to hear from my gentleman friend. When I first called him, he was grateful for the call and the resources that we provided from the funeral home. He has asked me, on three separate occasions, to mail him a set of books for a friend who lost a spouse. He found the books to be very helpful and wanted to share with people he cared about, but he did not want to “give up” his books. I gladly mailed him what he needed. He told me that he did not know that funeral homes provided this level of service and that he was going to make sure he let any of his friends know, before they experience a loss and must choose a funeral home. He also asked me to have someone call him about planning his own funeral. This is the circle of care that each family deserves, and each funeral home can have the honor of providing! Will every family I talk with result in a preneed sale? Probably not. But, when I tell you that I live the experience of providing valuable aftercare, you can be assured that I know what I am talking about. Imagine the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead, beyond the first year of grief. When I talk to funeral directors, I can’t stress enough how important it is to consider extending your aftercare outreach efforts to families beyond a year past their loss. We are all aware that the first year is very difficult for families. We also know that grief doesn’t end in any order or time frame. With that in mind, it is my opinion that not supporting families beyond a year can be a missed opportunity. First and foremost, we have an opportunity to do what no one else is doing. Secondly, families served at the time of need are pre-need prospects no matter how you look at it. My opinion is if done right, aftercare can generate pre-need prospects and sales. Funeral service has three pillars. At time of need, preneed and aftercare. Aftercare, no doubt, nurtures the relationship with families. Once we provide aftercare, usually received as helpful, any information we share about preneed will be received as “information”, not us trying to sell anything! I have shared my opinion repeatedly during the course of three decades now. I see how it works with families. I live it every day while having conversations with grieving families. Speaking of conversations, I feel that the best way for me to illustrate the needs of families beyond that first year is to share some stories with you. I have changed the names and some details about the stories to protect people’s privacy and promise of confidentiality. The point can be well made and is just the same! To begin with, I talk to families anywhere from immediately after their loss to many years later. It is not uncommon for me to hear from a family years later, either through a funeral home I currently work for or through another family. One example is a bereaved mom who lost her daughter 18 months ago. Her first loss was that of a son, 20 years ago! She called me, hoping that I was still working with families. She had not gotten any information after her current loss, was struggling, and thought she would try to find me. I was grateful that she looked for me and figured out how to connect. I immediately got her on my call schedule. I have had Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at An Inside Look at Grief Beyond a Year Forest Lawn opens Bob Baker Marionette Theater Exhibit BobBaker, WizardofFantasy,c.1970.Handcrafted marionette (vac-u-form plastic, felt, and string), 50 x 20 x 10 inches. Courtesy of Bob Baker Marionette Theater Baker began creating puppets as a child in the 1930s, and he opened his permanent marionette theater in 1963. The exhibition begins with a look at Baker’s early years as a puppeteering prodigy, and it follows his career and the development of the theater over the course of several decades. Bob Baker passed away in 2014 at the age of 90, but the organization continues to thrive. The exhibition concludes with a look at Baker’s enduring legacy and recent creations from the Bob Baker Puppet Workshop. For decades Bob Baker Marionette Theater has been a collective effort. Baker mentored and collaborated with some of the most talented artists in the field of puppetry. The exhibition includes hand-drawn concept art by Frank Paris, best known for creating the original “Howdy Doody” marionette in 1947. An animatronic band created by René Zendejas is also on display. Originally from El Salvador, he became Baker’s first official apprentice in 1940. Due to his proximity to Hollywood, Bob Baker also collaborated with television and movie studios. He also worked closely with the Sherman Brothers, an Academy Award-winning pair of songwriters. The Sherman Brothers specialized in musical films and they wrote numerous songs for Bob Baker’s shows. From the silver screen to streaming, Baker’s legacy in TV and film continues to this day. “It’s great to partner with a wonderful institution like Bob Baker Marionette Theater,” says Forest Lawn Museum Director, James Fishburne, PhD. “Their mission, vision of the world, and contributions to film, television, and the field of puppetry are truly incredible!” Alex Evans, Executive Director and Head Puppeteer of Bob Baker Marionette Theater, says, “We’re excited to celebrate our history and carry on Bob’s legacy. The exhibition offers a peek behind the curtain, which will only enhance people’s appreciation for the magic and beauty of puppetry.” The exhibition will run through March 19, 2023. For more information visit www.forestlawn.com/museum. mark on puppetry, the local community, and American popular culture. Featuring approximately 100 artifacts, the exhibition includes hand-crafted marionettes, original concept art, archival photographs, an animatronic band, and more. The theater, which has entertained generations of Angelenos, will celebrate its 60th anniversary in 2023. Bob 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Scan QR for our website Cots not included MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler AMC N W FAST SHIPPING BY 12/31 ON SELECT PRODUCTS

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