September 2022

Page A20 September 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A by KNAUER INDUSTRIES My message to all of you is that if you notice a behavior change in your wife while she is going through all the diagnoses, doctor visits, treatments, and hospice care… allow yourself to step back and forgive her for the more negative expressions. These are likely the result of fear, doubts, regrets, and anger that she is feeling but not knowing how to express. The things I can recommend when you are faced with this are to: 1. Just love her and be sure to let her know that you love her. 2. Be a sponge and just sit and listen to anything and everything she wants to say to you. 3. Ask her to let you know anything that she needs you to do for her, and be willing to do it. 4. Celebrate the good that was in your marriage and thank her for all she did for you and others. 5. Get help while you are going through this. Most hospices and hospitals have support programs for Caretakers to help them through this trying experience. 6. If you feel depressed for longer periods of time, please seek grief counseling support to help you survive this. Meeting Challenges When Your Wife is Dying A year prior to my wife’s passing, she began to experience some upsetting physical conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors. Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything that I did. This was extremely uncharacteristic for her. I could not figure out where it was coming from. For a while, I just tried to lay low and hope this stage would go away. However, it only escalated to the point where I was getting really upset. One day I just blew up at her, something I NEVER DID BEFORE. I cursed at her, yelled at her, and told her that this could not continue, that I did not know what was going on, but that things had to change and change soon. With that, I stomped out of the house to go to work on a Sunday, just to get away from her for a bit and calm down. When I returned home three hours later, she apologized, and we were able to return to as we were before. But I never really understood what had happened until after she died from uterine cancer months later. As one reader told me about his experience during his wife’s extended illness, “My wife, she’s still a nice person but she has no patience anymore and it’s like we’re fighting a constant battle… I’m facing terrible depression. I am a strong person but everybody does have a breaking point.” As this troubling event had stuck with me ever since it occurred, I could not help but go over it repeatedly. It was then that I realized that she had been much more troubled by her physical condition than she had let on and she probably was mad at me for not noticing more or taking it more seriously. With that understanding, I was able to not only forgive her for that behavior but also forgive myself for the way I had reacted. This helped me to forgive myself for not having noticed earlier how much her illness had been troubling her. She was frustrated and angry I am sure for not being able to figure out what the hell was going on. The only way she knew to communicate her frustration and anger was by letting it out on me in the form of criticisms. Unfortunately, these criticisms gave me no clue as to what was wrong, and she apparently did not know how to tell me. By Fred Colby Working With Widowers Fred Colby has served as a director, board member and consultant for nonprofit organizations in California and Colorado. After his wife, Theresa, died in 2015 Fred shifted his focus to writing and leadership roles to help his fellow widowers heal and re-engage with life. He co-founded the Pathways Hospice Men’s Grief Group and an online grief group. He resides in Ft. Collins, Colorado. For more information go to: Fred Colby’s new 2nd edition blends his own story with research, observations, and experiences during the first year of grieving the loss of his wife, plus what he learned after his first edition was printed. The book is in part a result of his frustration with the lack of other in-depth or quality materials available to help fellow widowers. His search for anWidower to Widower Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship New Second Edition To see what others are saying about Widower to Widower go to Special Offer — 5 Books for $49.99 www . Fr e dCo l b y. c o m swers took him to group meetings, individual counseling sessions, writings by fellow widowers, and discussions resulting from happenstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey. Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 Owen Family Funeral Homes joins Titus Funeral Home Richard Owen and Cory Benz He continued by saying, “I promise to maintain the same high level of care for which the Owen family and Titus Funeral Home are known for. There will be minimal changes in the day-to-day operations including our offer to maintain all staff in their existing roles. In fact, Richard will continue serving families as a funeral director. I am forever grateful to the Owen Family for their confidence in our team and for the opportunity to mainTitus Funeral Home & Cremation Services Owen Family Funeral Homes and Cremation Services WARSAW,IN— Titus Funeral Home & Cremation Services announced their expansion of the longtime family-run firm by acquiring Owen Family Funeral Homes and Cremation Services of Kosciusko County. The acquisition includes the funeral home locations in North Webster and Syracuse in addition to the crematory in Warsaw. Funeral director, Cory Benz, is the owner of Titus Funeral Home which was founded in 1956 and can trace its Warsaw roots back to 1937. Benz is a certified crematory operator, preplanning specialist and was recently awarded Young Adult Professional of the Year by Kosciusko Chamber of Commerce. “Richard and Kym Owen have served the grieving in Kosciusko County for more than thirty years, providing unparalleled comfort during life’s difficult moments. Their funeral homes and crematory are known for their compassionate and trustworthy care. And, as the new owners, this will not change,” said Benz. tain their firms as local and family owned.” In a letter sent to those who have pre-planned funeral services with Owen Family Funeral Home, Owen said “We know that Cory is an honest, compassionate and community-minded man. His reputation and work ethic have been greatly acknowledged in the Warsaw community.” Owen went on to say, “Cory recognizes that funeral service is a calling. He will serve Owen Family Funeral Homes and Cremation Services with thoughtful consideration and excellent service.” With this purchase, Titus becomes the owner and operator of Kosciusko County’s only crematory. SEND US YOUR NEWS PO Box 5159, Youngstown, OH 44514 1-800-321-7479 info@nomispubl icat www.nomispubl icat Like @Nomis.Publications Like us on