Page A8 JUNE 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 By Linda Findlay Aftercare well over two hours sharing her story. The reason I am sharing this story is that I want to illustrate that people need support much longer than anyone would expect. You might ask, how long are we to be expected to support a family? It’s a good question. The answer is, there are no time limits to grief. But, in the funeral service world, we can’t possibly reach out to each family for four years! However, if we reached out soon after the loss and provided aftercare that simply included a referral to The Compassionate Friends, or other type of support group or a grief support Facebook page, or publications, etc., maybe the burden would be lessened on the person trying to find help for themselves. Perhaps, it would not take four years for someone to “figure it out” for themselves and add to that, can you imagine the value that she would see in being given the resources early on by her funeral director? I am not suggesting we follow up with families for four years. I am asking for funeral service professionals to provide aftercare soon after the loss. I can assure you; it is effective in more ways than I can define. There is no cost involved with sharing useful information! This bereaved mother never heard of Compassionate Friends. For anyone who may not know, Compassionate Friends, is an international, not for profit, self-help support organization for families who experience the loss of a child, grandchild or sibling. They have chapters in many cities across the country and around the world. They make a difference in the lives of tens of thousands of families across the world. How did she not ever hear about Compassionate Friends? I have to suggest, if you don’t already list Compassionate Friends on your website as a source of support for grieving parents, please do so. For this lady, I will continue to follow up with her. I have no idea what funeral home she used when her son died. All I know, according to her, they did nothing to support her loss. She never heard from them. I have no idea how she came across me or my phone number. What I can tell you; I will continue to follow up with her for as long as she needs me to. No charge, no strings attached. I told her that I have been very blessed to work for funeral homes for over 30 years, I am very happy to give back! I want to conclude with telling you that this bereaved mother shared how she has tried to date. While on a date, when she talks about her deceased son, the light switch goes off and she never hears from the guy again. She asked me if knew of any “single” men who lost a child to murder that she could talk to. She acknowledged that it may be a weird question and perhaps a bit selfish, but, she so desperately wants to talk to someone who will understand. I do know many men who have lost a child to murder and are single. I explained to her that I could not share that information with her. When she shared about the support groups she attended I did ask if she was involved in a Compassionate Friends group. To my surprise, she never heard of Compassionate Friends. Maybe now she will connect with this group and find the support that she needs. Who knows, maybe she will find a nice man who is in the same situation as hers and in her own right finds what she needs in that area. I am often asked to be a match maker among the bereaved, unfortunately this is not in my job description. Hopefully that gave you a little chuckle! I have advocated for grieving families for over 30 years. I have talked to funeral directors and funeral service professionals during the entire 30+ years. My story always remains the same. Families need support after their loss for much longer than most people think. I just talked to a bereaved mother who lost her son to murder. If she had not told me that her son died 4 years ago, I would have thought he died yesterday. She shared how she no longer had the friends who were in her life prior to her son dying. Her parents, both grieving the loss of their grandson, could not support her. She found herself trying to be supportive of them, which is often the case among family members. She found no comfort from them, understandably! Her marriage fell apart and ended in divorce. Her 14-year-old daughter, who was an A student, popular at school and involved in many activities, no longer has a social life and her grades are C at best. She told me that she went to many support groups. Both at her local church and through her local hospice. She found it not to be helpful. The pain of listening to all the stories was too much for her to bear. She went to a private “grief counselor”. She said she did not like the person or her style of counseling, so she quit. She told me she has read many books and looked online for support. Nothing has helped much. She gets up every day and puts one foot in front of the other and barely makes it through. She said if she did not have her precious daughter, she would end her life. In our world, this statement is a red flag of which I appropriately address with her. Additionally, she said that her daughter refused to go to counseling! This is all four year later! The question that always comes to mind for me is, “how can I help”. In this case, it looks and sounds like she has done everything that can be done to find support for herself. Everything she shared with me is exactly what I would have recommended had I followed up with her at the beginning of her grief journey. She spent Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Park Lawn Completes Acquisition of Chancellor Florence Location Byram Location dedicated to caring and providing excellent client service,” stated Bill Chancellor, former owner of Chancellor. “Bill, Sandra and the Chancellor staff exemplify the mission and values of Park Lawn and we are honored to work together to serve the Byram and Florence communities moving forward,” said J. Bradley Green, Chief Executive Officer of PLC. PLC provides goods and services associated with the disposition and memorialization of human remains. Products and services are sold on a pre-planned basis (preneed) or at the time of a death (at-need). PLC and its subsidiaries own and operate businesses including cemeteries, crematoria, funeral homes, chapels, planning offices and a transfer service. PLC operates in three Canadian provinces and sixteen United States. TORONTO,ONTARIO— Park Lawn Corporation (PLC) is pleased to announce that it has completed the previously announced acquisition of substantially all of the assets of Chancellor Funeral Home and Garden of Memories (collectively Chancellor), a business consisting of one stand-alone funeral home and one combination funeral home and cemetery property located in Byram and Florence, MS, respectively. “We are excited to begin a new chapter with Park Lawn where we have joined an organization that supports our vision to remain a leader in our profession as well as a team S e nd u s you r n ews ! ema i l info@Nomi sPubl i cat ions . com FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
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