Page A20 JUNE 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A Scan QR for our website 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Mortuary Coolers starting at $5,899 that you are wrong. So please, no matter which of these mistakes you are considering making, please at least pause, talk to someone, and think it through carefully before moving forward. 1. Allowing friends or family members to talk you into distributing furniture, cash, cars, and other assets before you are mentally capable of making good decisions. 2. Letting others talk you into major financial decisions such as selling your home, refinancing, investing your wife’s savings or insurance money into some venture, or selling something to others for a low-ball price. 3. Starting to date women you don’t even know before your emotional state settles down and you can distinguish between those who are genuine and those who are looking for someone to take advantage of. 4. Marrying someone in the first year after losing your wife (happens way too often). 5. Selling your home and all your assets, and then hitting the road with no way back. 6. Quitting your job or selling your business too fast before you are able to look at the options objectively. 7. Not recognizing health issues when they emerge and going to the doctor (over 50% of us have a major health issue in the first year after losing our wives). 8. Taking our anger and frustration out on our family and friends, effectively driving them away from us when we need them the most. ONE YEAR RULE: These and many other mistakes are not someone’s imagination, they are real occurrences that happen over and over again. They are the reason that you hear grief therapists, authors, and others constantly repeat the mantra, “Do not make any major decisions for at least one year after losing your wife.” I know you might think that you are the exception and that you can get away with making these rookie widower mistakes, but I can tell you that there is a good chance 8 Newbie Widower Mistakes During the first year of being a widower, we often find ourselves: • Unable to sleep more than 2 – 4 hours a night, • Sinking into a depression with constant sobbing, • Unable to determine what is real and what is unreal, • Craving to have a woman in our lives, • Losing focus on what we are trying to work on, or • Unable to communicate with others. Does this sound like a good place to be when trying to make life-altering decisions? Hell no! During that first year, we are extremely vulnerable and easily misled by both ourselves and others. And yet, many of us do make what can be ill-fated decisions that can really mess up our: • physical mental, and financial health, • employment status, • relationships with family and friends, • living arrangements, and • marital status. Any of the following newbie widower mistakes can create situations that cannot be undone. They can lead to complicated grief or widower’s syndrome. These long-lasting effects may take years of therapy, mending fences, and corrective actions to undo the harm already done. And these difficulties often lead to growing issues with alcohol and drugs which only make all other problems worse. So, what kinds of widower mistakes am I talking about? The following are just a few of the many I have heard firsthand from my fellow widowers or have experienced myself. They include, but are certainly not limited to: By Fred Colby Working With Widowers Fred Colby has served as a director, board member and consultant for nonprofit organizations in California and Colorado. After his wife, Theresa, died in 2015 Fred shifted his focus to writing and leadership roles to help his fellow widowers heal and re-engage with life. He co-founded the Pathways Hospice Men’s Grief Group and an online grief group. He resides in Ft. Collins, Colorado. For more information go to: www.fredcolby.com. Fred Colby’s new 2nd edition blends his own story with research, observations, and experiences during the first year of grieving the loss of his wife, plus what he learned after his first edition was printed. The book is in part a result of his frustration with the lack of other in-depth or quality materials available to help fellow widowers. His search for anWidower to Widower Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship New Second Edition To see what others are saying about Widower to Widower go to https://www.fredcolby.com/media Special Offer — 5 Books for $49.99 https://www.fredcolby.com/buy-books/order-5-pack-for-groups www . Fr e dCo l b y. c o m swers took him to group meetings, individual counseling sessions, writings by fellow widowers, and discussions resulting from happenstance meetings with fellow travelers on the grief journey. Rousculp Performs Flanagan’s Wake in the Funeral Home David Rousculp as Mayor The show’s profits were donated to The Shepherd House The cast: Scott McMeen, Rod Pasko, Nate Driscoll, Duke Roth, Fiona Finn, David Rousculp, Teresa Rust and Tommy Saul NEW HAVEN,IN— David Rousculp, general manager of Harper’s Community Funeral Home, New Haven is proud to have once again produced “Flanagan’s Wake” in the funeral home during the St. Patrick’s Day weekends. Two years ago, the first production in the funeral home saw only three out of the four shows performed due to Covid-19 restrictions being implemented. They originally planned on doing the show every two years, so they are still on schedule! This time they performed six shows and were able to cut costs since they had already had the props and costumes from the original show. Half the cast returned to reprise their roles. Rousculp not only directed the show but jumped in to play the “Mayor” as well. “These actors were having too much fun and I had to join in,” said Rousculp. All the profits were donated to The Shepherd House for struggling veterans in Fort Wayne. The show is 60 percent script, and the rest is improvisation. The show was a hit, and they were able to donate $6,000.00. “I know some funeral directors may find this hard to imagine but the community was very supportive of this fundraiser. We had people come to the show that had never been to our facility. It was a nice way for people to walk around and get an actual tour,” said Rousculp. “Harper’s does about 140 funerals a year, slow enough to pull this off! As the only funeral director, I admit I pushed myself to the limit. Overall, though it was a success. I learned so much about improv acting. We plan to do this again in 2024,” added Rousculp. CLOSEOUTPRICING! ON THE 2022 EDITIONS 1-800-321-7479 www.NomisPublications.com
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