Basic HTML Version
Page A4
FEBRUARY 2013
FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS
S ec t i on A
Jarvis Incinerator Co., Inc.
Quality service since 1876
Phone: 617-957-6092 • Fax: 978-458-5816
CALL JARVIS IF...
– you want to lower your crematory repair costs.
c
– you are unhappy with your current brick work contractor.
– you want the best in sales and service.
NEW STACKS CONTROL PANELS SPARE PARTS
REFRACTORY REPAIRS
We service all crematory makes and models –
both human and animal.
The Calming Cross
™
A family gift that can be held onto
during the time of need.
A keepsake gift shaped like a floating angel, meticulously
hand crafted to perfectly fit in your hand.
ORDER TODAY!
Minimum Order—One Dozen
1-888-238-1529
Your cost only $9.75 each
Custom
Engraving
Options
Available
Variety Of
Wood Choices
CHERRY— OAK
WALNUT—C
EDAR
Design
Products
Ventilation
Specializing in
Call today for a free brochure.
877.832.6898
i n f o@du n c a n s t u a r t t odd . c om
t h e p r e pa r at i on r oom s p e c i a l i s t s
The Industry Responds to Newtown Tragedy
Acts of violence against innocent people defy logic
and prompt questions that are not easily answered. The
tragic act that shattered the peace of Newtown, Con-
necticut was particularly inexplicable because so many
of those who lost their lives were in the flower of their
youth with their lives ahead of them.
Following the unimaginable tragedy, the
Connecti-
cut Funeral Directors Association
coordinated ar-
rangement information and kept the media abreast
of what was happening, while asking them to respect
the privacy of all families
involved. Following the
completion of local servic-
es, a statement was issued
on behalf of the CFDA
and its 220 funeral homes
and hundreds of licensed
funeral directors thanking
the media and industry
for their respect and sen-
sitivity during what was
one of the most difficult
of times. Over a week and
a half, more than 160 licensed funeral directors from all
over Connecticut stepped forward to volunteer their ex-
pertise and time to help the many funeral homes serving
the families of Newtown.
The
National Funeral Directors Association
reached
out to the CFDA, extending their support to funeral
directors in the area who were helping the families of
those who died, “To say that we are deeply saddened
by the tragedy in Connecticut does not begin to express
our feelings about this horrific event. Our thoughts are
with the families and all who have been and will be
touched by this terrible act. We know our members in
Connecticut, particularly those in the Newtown area,
have become personally involved with this tragedy by
supporting families during their time of grief.”
NFDA forwarded a supply of grief materials to the
CFDA for use by area funeral homes and Sandy Hook
Elementary School. A myriad of funeral industry sup-
pliers stepped up and offered support in many ways
including:
Wilbert Funeral Services, Inc
.
’s
offer of
burial vaults, cremation urns, urn vaults, and graveside
services;
FrontRunner Professional
setting up a Book
of Memories and coordinating the efforts of their affili-
ates to offer items including the donation of memori-
al blankets;
Greg Lundgren
,
Lundgren Monuments
,
provided copies of both of his recently released grief
books for children,
Death Is Like A Light
and
Green-
view Cemetery
; NFDA and renowned grief expert
Dr.
Alan Wolfelt
offered free downloads of information
for the grieving; and the
Funeral Service Foundation
established an assistance fund to support the needs of
victims, funeral directors and the community of New-
town.
The Connecticut Funeral Directors Association estab-
lished an account with Liberty Bank to aid the families
of the Newtown shooting with funeral and related ex-
penses. NFDA has made a $5,000 contribution to this
victims’ assistance fund; the Funeral Service Foundation
has also donated $5,000. Contributions may be sent to:
CFDA Newtown Support Fund
C/O Liberty Bank
171 Silas Deane Highway
Wethersfield, CT 06109
Attn: Ben Floren, Liberty Bank
Children’s funerals are never easy. Funeral Profession-
als throughout the country came together to support
those dealing with a situation they have likely never
faced and hope to never face again.
By Sherry L. Williams
Sherry L. Williams, RN, BA, GMS, GRS, is the president and
founder of New Leaf Resources a division of Sherry Williams En-
terprises, Inc. She was the co-founder of Accord Inc. and has been
involved in grief and bereavement training and services for the
past twenty-two years. She has an Associate Degree in Nursing
from the University of Kentucky Extension Program and a Bachelor
of Arts degree in Psychology from Bellarmine College in Louisville,
KY. Sherry is a nationally certified Grief Management Specialist
and has advanced certification as a Bereavement Facilitator from
the American Academy of Bereavement and is certified by the
Grief Recovery Institute as a Grief Recovery Specialist.
She has been a featured speaker for numerous organizations in-
cluding the National Funeral Directors Association and the Asso-
ciation for Death Education.
She can be reached by email at sherry@newleaf-resources.com.
Visit New Leaf Resources and Sherry Williams Enterprises, Inc. at
The Gift of
Aftercare
Since 1984 I have tried to help funeral service practitioners
reach out to their community and to those they serve with
special follow-up services and programs. We do have some
clients who have been with us from the very beginning and
they are always asking me for something new to do or some
new angle for their program. They do this for two reasons.
First, they want to be sure that they are providing the very
best they can for those they serve. Second, they want a new
slant because they are getting bored with doing things they
same old way and want to stay motivated and excited about
their program.
Even if you are doing the same thing with your program
day in and day out, the people who are the recipients of your
program are on the receiving end for the first time, so every-
thing is new and valid for them. Even if you do have a fam-
ily you are serving for the second time, the grief experience
is different each and every time. This is because of their re-
lationship to the deceased and the nature of the death along
with a myriad of other factors, so they are looking at things
through a different set of experiences and needs.
Knowing all of this does make it a little easier to continue
to do the same things, but I know you still want a way to
spice up your program and your enthusiasm every now and
then. So, I am going to share with you some ideas I have
gleaned from others over the past twenty years. Hopefully
you will find at least one new thing you would like to try
from the following list:
• If you are doing Holiday Programs, you might want
to incorporate into the program, the giving of an orna-
ment, a candle, a bookmark or a holiday book. You can
now reach out to the community and seek out an “op-
service. You can get a variety of beautiful candles very
affordably.
• Allow service groups to use your parking lot for car
washes. Serve refreshments and hand out a safety bro-
chure about the dangers of drinking and driving or us-
ing drugs.
• Sponsor an annual golf tournament and donate the
proceeds to a local civic group, support group or be-
reavement library.
• Sponsor a “Spring to Remembrance” celebration. Con-
duct a planting at your local cemetery or memorial gar-
den. Have a program focusing on the fact that in ev-
ery leaf of Spring is the message of resurrection and
remembrance.
• Run an ad in the paper and sponsor eyeglass collections
for the Lions Club. You could even host a reception
and have people bring the glasses as the price for admis-
sion.
Many of these ideas may not sound like aftercare if you
restrict the definition of aftercare to be care of the fam-
ily after the funeral. But New Leaf Resources has always
said that “Aftercare is providing education, information,
and support for the bereaved and those who serve them
by reaching out to the community to create goodwill and
promote supporting those who are hurting.” Join us in
broadening the scope of your definition of aftercare and
reach out to your community. You cannot measure the
value of goodwill but you can see how it impacts your im-
age in the community.
portunity center” that employs the handicapped and have
themmake the ornaments for you.This way, the ornaments
have even more meaning. In addition, you might want to
invite people to attend your program by placing a personal
invitation letter in your local newspaper.
• Conduct a School Safety program. Take your hearse to the
local school. Stop cars as they come into the school and give
each person in the car with a seat belt on $5.00. You will
have to coordinate this with the local police, the school bus
drivers, the principal, teachers, etc. It is imperative that ev-
erything that is done to build up to the very day is kept
completely confidential so that no one knows it is going
to happen. Have your staff wear, shirts with your logo and
when they stop the cars, pass out a flier on seat belt safety
and drinking and driving.
• Conduct an “Escape School” for primary schools, teach-
ing children how to recognize strangers and possible danger.
Teach them how to get free if they are trapped and how to
find a “SAFE PLACE.”
• Sponsor a light a candle or light campaign in your com-
munity. Every time there is a death, whether it is your cli-
ent family or not, the light is lit to let people know there has
been a death in the community.
• Sponsor a “you can help ad” in the newspaper with a listing
of all the support agencies in your community that could use
volunteers or donations. If you do this as a public service,
many newspapers will give you a 25% discount on the ad.
• You might use your “limo” as a prize or contribution as a
ride to the prom, a wedding or a special community event.
• Sponsor a “Salute to sobriety” on New Year’s Eve. Have an
open house with music, coffee, donuts, or refreshments at
the local high school or a civic center. Park your coach out-
side and use a search light to get people to come in.
• Place a single white rose at the head of the casket during visi-
tation/viewing as a gift from the funeral director who made
the arrangements. On the last day, present it to the family to
put in the casket or take home with them.
• Present each family with a memorial candle at the end of the