January 2023

Page A8 January 2023 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A 1-888-792-9315 • mymortuarycooler.com Scan QR for our website Cots not included MODEL # TR3 Triple Cot Roll-In Mortuary Cooler AMC N W FAST SHIPPING AVAILABLE ON SELECT PRODUCTS By Linda Findlay Aftercare es. The tone began to change behind me. It seemed that the funeral directors were participating and commenting positively. It was clear that they listened to what was being shared with them and were participating and doing the exercises! It was very interesting to me. I believe they left that session inspired, and with a different perspective about self-care. I noted that all the evaluations of my sister’s session were marked “Excellent.” Why does Self Care Matter? • Stress and emotional exhaustion can make us less organized and productive, and emotionally depleted which can lead to insomnia and other health problems. • Caring for others can reopen old wounds. • Self-care produces positive feelings and boosts confidence and self-esteem. • Good self-care habits help your internal battery stay charged. In turn, this helps you remain sharp, motivated, and healthy. • It’s necessary to remember that your needs are important too. Self-care refers to healthy habits and activities that reduce stress and maintain well-being. It’s any deliberate activity we do to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Because bereavement care involves looking after others, it’s imperative we also look after ourselves. Making time for yourself is crucial to your own well-being. Aims of Self Care • To help manage stress • To prevent physical illness • To help maintain equilibrium and honor one’s own needs Self Care Tips • Recognize that you can’t fix a loved one’s grief. It’s a rite of passage for everyone. • Learn the signs and symptoms of compassion fatigue. Seek support when you’re struggling. It is amazing how many funeral directors have never heard of compassion fatigue, but when taught about it, immediately recognize their own symptoms of it. • Learn to let go, say no, and ask for help from others. Honor your own limits. • Do one nurturing activity each day. Read a book, take a bubble bath, go for a walk. • Carve out time in your day to recharge your battery by doing things you love. • Eat healthy and stay hydrated to boost immunity and physical well-being. • Engage in light exercise and practice good sleep hygiene. • Plan for short respites from supporting bereaved loved ones. Consider taking a vacation with others you love. • Embrace joy without guilt. Listen to children laughing, smell a rose, watch a sunset. • Sing. In a choir, in the car, in the shower. It releases muscle tension and stress. • Enjoy a good laugh every day. Laughter lightens a heavy load and boosts your mood by releasing tension. Watch a comedy show or movie or watch funny videos. • Engage in activities that involve your hands such as gardening, knitting, woodworking, painting, pottery, beading, or coloring. Repetitive motion of the hands is soothing and calms the mind. • Take up journaling to release inner thoughts and feelings in a private, safe place. Some people may feel that self-care is useless, or it doesn’t do much good. I beg to differ, and I challenge you to at least try some of the suggestions I have provided-pick one and practice it regularly. See for yourself if you feel differently. You might surprise yourself and furthermore, you might be able to confidently suggest self-care to your families and provide some resources about it that can be given to them. The new year is a great time to incorporate something new. Give it a try! Benefits of Self Care There have been many times that I have had conversations with the funeral directors that I work with about self-care. There have been a few who I feel, had they practiced self-care, would still be funeral directors today. One funeral director comes to mind. He lost his adult daughter to a drug overdose. What he found was that most people “figured” he was doing fine. After all, he was a funeral director. The number of times people in the community would run into him in public and not mention his loss became unbearable for him. Everyone knew his daughter died from an overdose. Most people said nothing. A few commented that he must be doing fine because he deals with death every day. This was furthest from the truth. I shared with him that he needed to take his funeral director hat off and put one on that is for a grieving father! We talked about self-care. We had, together, presented workshops on self-care for our families. When I asked him what he was doing to take care of himself, he said nothing. He felt that it was not for him. My funeral director friend sold his funeral home! It was a third-generation family run business! Another interesting story about self-care and my funeral director friends is when I had participated in a “Day of Healing” some years ago. Funeral directors from the community participated to earn the CE’s. One of the sessions was on mindfulness and mediation. It just so happened that my sister, who is a holistic practitioner, was presenting the workshop, but the other attendees did not know that. I sat near the back, and behind me were about five funeral directors. In the beginning of the session, I heard them grumbling about the subject of holistic practices. Some comments were, “I am not doing this,” and “This is stupid,” and “All I need is the CE credit, so I guess I need to sit through this.” It was kind of comical to me, both because it was my sister they were grumbling about, and because they did not consider that anyone could hear what they were saying. As we got into the session, my sister had the attendees participate in some examples of holistic practic- Linda Findlay is the founder of Mourning Discoveries, Grief Support Services. She is a 29-year career Aftercare Coordinator, a published author, and an advocate for bereaved families. She is the founder and co-creator of The Grief Cruises and managing partner with The International Grief Institute. Linda can be reached at 315-725-6132 or Lf6643@yahoo.com. Visit www.mourningdiscoveries.com, www.thegriefcruises.com or www.internationalgriefinstitute.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columnsonline at Take Care of Yourself in the New Year! Phone: 877-770-TIES (8437) Fax: 276-466-3474 E-mail: customerservice@tiesforyou.com www.tiesforyou.com STYLISH MATCHING TIES FOR PROFESSIONALS Any Size Group or Organization “We’ve worked on building trust and have gained two to four funeral homes that use us monthly and one that utilizes us as their main transport service,” says Curtis Durham, founder and owner. New clients are regularly using the transport service and growing to appreciate the professionalism and respect of Curtis and his devoted employees. The two vans owned and used by the transport POFS Global Celebrates First Anniversary Curtis Durham company are secure transports with hydraulic deck systems that can carry up to four deceased at a time. They are fully-insured, handle after-hour removals, and deal with oversize decedents of over 300+ pounds. Their main goal is to provide care, dignity, and privacy for the deceased. Curtis left the IT field in 2004 to go into logistics. He accepted a business offer driving and managing Bobtails locally in Houston and saw the highs and lows in the logistics industry. DHL bought HOUSTON,TX— Priority One Fulfillment Services Global, LLC recently celebrated one year of service offering mortuary transportation services to the Houston area. While they mostly work with funeral homes, they are available and have worked with casket companies, retirement homes, hospice centers, and private residences, as well. out the company they were contracting through, and so he began looking through newspaper ads for other logistic opportunities. “There was a featured story about families having issues getting their loved ones back to their homeland in Mexico. They were putting them in station wagons and minivans,” Curtis says. It was this ad that inspired his interest in the area’s need for reliable mortuary transport. Curtis started mortuary school but left before his lab courses when he was diagContinued on page A16