January 2022

Page A4 JANUARY 2022 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS Se c t i on A SHROUDS Green Burial Cremation www.kinkaraco.com (415) 874-9698 100% American Made By Nancy Weil As we begin the year, we may still be recovering from the recent holidays. We could be reviewing the year that was (and what a year it was!) or we may be just trying to get through the day. However, it is time to start looking ahead to what I call the “forgotten holi- day of grief.” Yes, Valentine’s Day. In grief work we help people through the holidays that fall from the end of November through January 1. Never do we consider that Valentine’s Day, the holiday that celebrates love, can also be very difficult for those who have lost a loved one. It may be a spouse, a child, a parent or anyone who was part of their Valentine’s Day celebration. No cards or chocolates are to be ex- changed. No “Hallmark movie” moments will unfold. No one will even call and recognize that this can be a day that brings tears along with memories. You have the opportunity to address this, but only if you get to work on it now. Why not host a communi- ty remembrance service for Valentine’s Day this year? As long as the pandemic has waned and it is safe to gather, you can plan a program and invite the families you have served and your community to join together to recognize this forgotten holiday of grief. If it is still better to remain apart, you can put together a program and stream it live and then post it on your website and social media channels. If you live where it is warm, you may be able to hold the program outside. No matter where you host this program, just being willing to offer it will open up opportunities you have not considered. I held an “Always” remembrance service near Valen- tine’s Day for many years. People were so grateful to have a space where they could take their pain of losing their Valentine and find comfort and hope. The service was a blend of poems, song (including Irving Berlin’s Random Musings “Always”) and the reading of names. We closed by giving out chocolates, roses or other types of seasonal items. Full disclosure: the chocolates were the most appreciated! Here is where you are wondering how you will ever have enough time to pull this together and here is where I tell you how easy it can be. I have done most of the work for you! I have a templated service that you can adapt for your event. All you have to do is hire the musician/sing- er and recruit your staff to take part in the service. Send out invitations to everyone you have served in 2021, take the reservations, print the program book, buy the choco- late and you have a service ready to go. If you are stream- ing the service, then it gets even easier. No program book or chocolates needed. Although you can put together a small care package and invite people to stop by the funer- al home and pick one up prior to your service. Be sure to reach out to your local media and ask for cov- erage prior to your program. Ask for help in letting your community know that you are providing a place to come to remember their missing Valentine. While Christmas finds hospices, churches and other funeral homes and cemeteries hosting a service, Valentine’s Day does not. The press will likely only be approached by your funeral home or ceme- tery requesting coverage. Having few stories they can run to address Valentine’s Day, they will likely accept your re- quest. Radio, television news and print media can all cover this event. Again, I can help guide you in how to pitch this story and what to do when they schedule your interview. February 14 is a Monday this year. You can host an event the weekend prior or even the evening of. I can help you with the pieces you need to create your event. You can provide comfort to the bereaved, get free media coverage and provide the promise of the lyrics that you will be there for those you serve “Always.” Happy Valentine’s Day! Serving as Member Resources Director at the International Order of the Golden Rule, Nancy Weil brings her years of experience working in the funeral industry to funeral directors across the globe. Her professional experience includes serving as Director of Grief Support and Community Outreach at Veterans Funeral Care in Clearwater, FL and at eleven cemeteries in Western New York. Nancy travels throughout the country offering presentations on how to reduce stress, combat compassion fatigue and offer support for those who are grieving through her company, The Laugh Academy. With certifications as a Grief Services Provider and Grief ManagementSpecialist, FuneralCelebrant, Soul InjuryAmbassador and Laughter Leader, Nancy is uniquely qualified to bring new perspectives into how to best meet the needs of the families you serve. For more information on how Nancy can help you and your company grow, visit her website: www.TheLaughAcademy.com or email Nancy@TheLaughAcademy.com. F U N E R A L H O M E & C E M E T E R Y N E W S w w w . N o m i s P u b l i c a t i o n s . c o m Monthly Columns online at I’ll be loving you Always With a love that’s true Always. When the things you’ve planned Need a helping hand, I will understand Always. Days may not be fair Always, That’s when I’ll be there Always. Not for just an hour, Not for just a day, Not for just a year, But Always. — Irving Berlin Dad, Can I Borrow the Hearse? : A Must-Read Story About Growing up in a Detroit Funeral Home By Laurie Esposito Harley The funeral services industry is one that is heavily dominated by family-owned businesses – in fact, 86% of the funeral homes in the United States are owned by individuals or families. And, like with any family-owned business, that means that there are children within the sector that grow up intimately know- ing about the family business and industry particulars. One such person has recently written a book about his experiences growing up in the funeral home business. The cleverly-named book, Dad, Can I Borrow the Hearse? , first hit bookshelves in October. Author Thomas J. Van Kula, a self-pro- claimed ‘Funeral Director’s Kid’, grew up in a Detroit-based funer- al home where the second floor served as the family residence. An impressive, yellow-bricked struc- ture located on the east side at 9074 St. Cyril Avenue, the Van Kula Funeral Home, serves as the setting for this memoir. “For over four decades, I was associated with death and dying as an almost daily occurrence,” Van Kula shares. “Residing over a funeral home with five siblings added to the plentitude of mem- than it does today. Embalming was done at home. Van Kula was keen to share his book with some of the mortuary programs that are currently running in the US, in order to give mortuary students these insights into the American funeral services industry of the mid-twentieth century. And for anyone wondering, Van Kula actually never did borrow the hearse. “No, I never actually borrowed a hearse. We rented our hearses, from about three or four different places. But I thought the title worked.” Dad, Can I Borrow the Hearse? , is avail- able in e-book format as well as in hard copy format through Amazon, iBookstore, Google Play, Scribd, Kobo, and through several popular book retailers. ories – poignant, humorous, and enduring.” Van Kula entered the family business himself, before eventu- ally exiting the industry in 1986. More than a personal account of an unconventional childhood spent as “an observer and even- tual practitioner of one of the world’s oldest professions,” Dad, Can I Borrow the Hearse? is an interesting glimpse into the his- tory of the funeral services in- dustry in one of the most blue- collar communities in the entire nation, one surrounded by auto factories and churches. “Those in the funeral industry will find the book to be very re- latable,” Van Kula shares. “I still have some friends in the busi- ness, and I sent an advance copy to one of them, and he said he could completely relate to it. He grew up in a similar situation, above a funeral home. It’s really just a story of a kid growing up in a funeral home in east Detroit.” The book gives an interesting per- spective on some of the funeral ser- vice practices of that era. The home layouts in the 1930s and 1940s ac- commodated for people to be laid out in their homes so the funeral home served a different function S e n d u s yo u r n e ws ! ema i l info@Nomi sPubl i cat ions . com FAx 1-800-321-9040 PO Box 5159 , Youngstown, OH 44514 FUNERAL HOME & CEMETERY NEWS